Page 117 of Without a Hitch
“You look like shit.”
“Stop worrying about me. It’s your big day, right?”
Colton takes me by the arm and leads me into an unoccupied corner. “Are you okay?”
“Truthfully?”
Concern crinkles his eyes. Colton Westbrook isn’t known as a serious guy, but I think he would probably walk through fire for me right now. “Always. You know that. What’s up?” He crosses his big arms over his even bigger chest and gives me his full attention.
“I haven’t slept in three days. I’ve consumed my body weight in beer and chewy candy, but I’m here. For you. I’m not okay. But I will be. I fucked up, and I’m going to fix it. I’m out as soon as the ceremony is over though. I have to make something right.”
“You’ve got it bad. Who’s the girl?”
Just then, I catch sight of Tilly. She enters without noticing me and heads straight for a door at the end of the hall. When the door opens, she holds up a box I know well, and I forget how to breathe.
Clearblue. A pregnancy test just like the one Christine used.
My brain attempts the calculations. When the fuck was Tyler’s wedding? Two months ago? More? What about Audra’s? I can’t focus. My vision narrows, and I sway on my feet.
“Loch? Oh, shit. Are you going to pass out? Come on, dude! I fought with my brothers over making you the best man. Don’t let me down now!”
“I—I…” I can’t swallow. I can’t move. With unblinking eyes, I turn back to Colton. Was this all a trap? Is she like Christine after all?
“Lochlan,” Colton’s harsh voice causes everyone in the room to turn, including Tilly, who goes ashen.
“I won’t let you down,” I force out. “I just need a few minutes. I’ll be ready in time. I promise.”
He searches my eyes and finally nods. Glancing around, he catches Tilly staring at us. “Oh, Tilly. Good. You’re here. Can you take Lochlan to the lodge so he can change and get something to eat?”
She’s shaking her head no, panic clearly visible as she shoves the now concealed package into the hand reaching through the doorway, but Colton doesn’t see her. No one appears to see her.
“Thanks, Till.” Colton bumps my shoulder. “Thanks for being here, man. I appreciate it.”
I’m left gaping at Tilly, whose entire body shakes as she steps closer. We don’t speak as I pick up my suit and follow her out the door. My mind is whirling with activity it can’t comprehend.
She leads me down a dirt path, and the lack of sleep must be catching up to me because as she floats through the tall trees with birds chirping overhead, she looks like fucking Snow White.
When we reach a clearing, I can’t hold it in anymore. “Is it mine?”
She stops but doesn’t turn around to face me. In the span of three seconds, my entire world shifts. I’m transported back to the day Christine told me she was pregnant. The fear. The apprehension I felt. The pure joy. But standing here, staring at the back of Tilly’s head, I realize the only joy I felt was for a child that didn’t even exist. All the negative feelings associated with that fake pregnancy were because of Christine.
I can’t categorize my feelings or emotions fast enough, but I know with certainty that I want this, with Tilly. I want it all with her. It’s because of her that I’m not crumbling right now. But when she turns, my world threatens to tear me apart.
“Is what yours, Lochlan?”
“The baby. Is it mine?” The knot in my shoulders eases as I wait for her answer. I want this. I really want this. “Did you do it on purpose?”What the fuck, Lochlan?I hear the words, but that’s not even what I wanted to say. I’m tripping over my words, and my feet fare no better in my attempt to get to her, but she retreats with hands raised.
“Is that what you think of me?”
“No. No.” It’s all I can say. I can’t shake the fog settling around my head, and I’m tongue-tied. I reach for her again, but she steps out of my grasp. That’s when I see the tears. I’m cocking this all up. Again. Think, asshole. Think. Speak.
“I don’t know who hurt you, Lochlan Blaine. I do know that I’m not her. I can’t do this with you. Not today. It hurts too much. I’m sorry your heart is so battered you can’t let anyone in. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one to reach it. But I don’t deserve to pay the price for someone else’s horrible actions. I’m not pregnant. That test was for my sister. I keep my promises, Lochlan, I always have. I told you I was on birth control, and I take it religiously.”
“Tilly, I’m sorry. No—”
“Me too, lover.” Tears stream down her face, and I move to draw her body closer to mine, but she pulls away. “There’s the lodge.” She points behind her. “I’ll meet you after the ceremony. I’ve already told Eli. If anyone notices I’m gone, she’ll cover for me.” She turns to head back the way we came.
“Tilly. No. I’m…” My hands fist in my hair. I’m not used to feeling out of control, but the lack of sleep, the looming hangover, and the hurt on my beautiful girl’s face have me spiraling.
