“And you let her.” When I don’t say anything, he continues. “Perhaps you knew you’d fall fast too? Why are you holding yourself back from being happy? If Shannon were here, there isn’t a fucking thing that would keep me from basking in her sunshine. You have a choice, asshole. Not all of us do. Don’t fuck it up because you spent too many years tormented by Christine’s gaslighting. You have a choice.”
His final words are pained and forceful. “You have a fucking choice. Choose it. Choose her. Don’t let fear hold you back. If…If someone had given me that advice, maybe Shannon would still be here. Are you really willing to let her go? Allow another man to call her his? Because if you do, what will happen when you see her ten years from now with a family, and you’re just a painful memory she tries to suppress? Can you live with that?”
My head is shaking no, but my mind is still at war. No. No, I can’t be a memory she hides from. “But what choice do I have?”
“You choose her. Now. Tomorrow. Every day for the rest of your life, you choose her.”
“What if she hates me in the end?”
“That’s a choice too, Loch. Choose to be the man she deserves every day, and that will never happen. People change as years go by, sure, but choose to change with her. Make her the number one priority in your life every single day, and love will bend and shift with you.”
“Will you ever choose love again?” I ask.
Blake’s face contorts, and the pain in his expression causes a visceral reaction in my gut.
“I had it. I chose it. I choose to love her memory.”
“Would she want you living this way?”
“I’ll call you when Kingston Corp. has the signatures. Don’t fuck up your life because someone fucked you over.” His voice rumbles through the speakers.
“You too, mate.”
His screen shifts as he slams it down, hanging up on me.
Bloody hell. Love broke him too. Why the hell would he tell me to choose it when I can see what it’s done to him? To my parents? To me?
Because it’s a choice, my conscience screams. It’s a choice that you have. Blake’s was taken from him, and perhaps he’s right. If I don’t choose it, does that mean Christine is still winning?
CHAPTER34
TILLY
Climbing the steps of 528 Charter Oak feels more like a military drill than coming home. Each step is made with precision because if I don’t focus on the mechanics, I’ll crumble.
“Miss Tilly, nice to have you home. Where’s your fella?” Monty, my doorman, asks as he leans against the building. When I approach the top step, he slides off his stool to open the door for me.
“He was never mine, Monty. Just a work acquaintance,” I admit sadly.
“Some work you must do then. Is that why I’m supposed to call this number when you’ve arrived home safely?” He holds up a blue piece of paper with the Bryer-Blaine logo at the top.
Lochlan.
“He’s a good employer, Monty. He’s just making sure I made it home safely.”
“Is there a reason he wouldn’t get a confirmation of your safety directly from you?” he asks with a gentle smile.
“He’s a stalker?” I offer playfully.
Monty shakes his head, but his eyes sparkle with humor. “Nah, I didn’t get that vibe from him. My guess is he cares. He cares a lot, and he messed up something big.”
Hot tears press at the corners of my eyes. “No, Monty. He didn’t mess anything up. He was very honest with his intentions. Are the girls home?”
“Eli went tearing up the stairs about an hour ago like her ass was on fire. The other two have been home all day waiting for you. Should I expect some Chinese food and a Ben & Jerry’s delivery?”
Laughter that feels foreign is pulled from my chest. “I think that’s a pretty safe bet, yeah. Thanks, Monty.”
“No worries, Till. I won’t even rat you out to Mable.” He winks, and I fling myself at him. Monty has been here much longer than I have, but he’s always looked out for us like a father figure standing guard.