Page 80 of Fragments of the Lost
But his mother kept the pocket watch. His mother has kept all of Caleb’s things. And she’s been watching me. Telling Mia not to talk to me. But keeping me close all thesame.
—
My mother isn’t having it, the excuses.
She catches me coming in. “That’s not Hailey,” she says.
“No, it’s Max,” I say.
She tilts her head.
“As in, played-baseball-with-Julian Max.”
“As in, Caleb’s best friend?”
“Yes, they’re one and the same, Mom. Which you know.”
She rubs her temple, closes her eyes. “It’s not the person, Jessa. It’s the lies. We’ve given you time, and space, and I can only imagine what it’s like….” She trails off. Then regroups, says what she’s been meaning to say. “But I won’t stand for the lying. I won’t stand for the sneaking around.”
“Mom, please,” I say, because I can’t even focus. My whole body is thrumming.
“I’ve let you do whatever you’ve needed—a week home from school; quitting the team; ignoring us all—” She shakes her head before continuing. “But I can’t say nothing when you stay home from school and then disappear. I’m worried. And I’m angry. I know I’m not supposed to say that, with everything you’re going through. But there it is. You were gone, and Caleb’s mother came by today and—”
I stand straight. Shocked silent. “Caleb’s mom was here? Eve was here?”
“Yes, Jessa. She was looking for you.”
“The room is finished,” I say. “What did she want?”
“Well, I wasn’t about to twenty-question the poor woman. I told her you were at the library with Hailey, but that’s obviously not where you were, now, was it?” She eyes me, like she isn’t sure what to do with me. I can’t remember Julian ever being grounded. But I can’t remember Julian ever being caught in a lie, either. Maybe he was just better at it than I am. “She asked if she could wait for you, but I had to pick up dinner.”
Eve, asking to come into this house. What does she want with me? She has my number. She could’ve just called….
“Mom,” I say, dropping my voice, “something happened. Something’s wrong, about what they say happened to Caleb.”
She shuts her eyes, takes a deep breath. “Don’t do this, sweetheart.”
“Something’s wrong in that house. Something’s wrong with that woman.” I’m shaking my head, the confession making it all become real, out in the air. But she puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Jessa, please.” She tries to pull me toward her, in an embrace, as if to calm the illogical from me.
I feel like I’m so close, that I just need a little more time. And a little more space, from this, and from Eve. I don’t feel safe in my own house, not after Eve has been here. I can’t be here, not with that pocket watch, with his mother dropping by. I can’t go to the police, not without dragging Caleb back to whatever he was running from.
But a plan forms, even as the anger rises.
“I want to go visit Julian,” I say.
Her breath releases. Yes, this is something she can manage, that she can count on.
“Of course,” she says. “It would be good to get away. I’ll call him now, to make sure he’s free this weekend.”
“I do know how to call my brother,” I say.
“Right, I just, I want to talk to him anyway.” She’s backing away already, and I set my jaw. My teeth press together until the pain radiates to my jawbone. Of course she wants to talk to him first. Discuss the point that I am unwell, make sure he looks after me. Responsible, predictable Julian. His sister stuck in a stage of grief: denial.
I’m leaving straight from school. I just have to get through the day. I’m safe here, surrounded by people. Though everything sets me on edge. A door slamming down the hall. A person walking too closely behind me. The sound of the bell, signaling the end of class. I’m grateful for lunchtime, the halfway point, knowing that I only have to get through three more classes and then I’m off. Hailey sits beside me, grabs a fry from my plate since it’s obvious I’m not eating mine.
Hailey taps my tray, to get my attention. “So? Are you finished? Packing that room?”
