Page 72 of Sin Deep
“You’re used to being on your own. And trust is scary at first.” Winter sipped his coffee, watching him. “But I’m going to need trust from you. You’re going to need to rely on it sometimes. Do you think you can do that?”
“I do trust you. I sleep with you. That’s the biggest trust ever.”
“That’s the most intimate trust for sure. But there are other kinds of trust. Trusting me to keep you safe. Trusting that if I ask you for something you don’t understand, there is a reason. Trusting me to answer your questions honestly.”
“I will do my best, totally. We’re still learning each other, I think.” But Harley thought he could do that.
“We are definitely still learning. Especially here at home, just the two of us. But I have a question for you, an important one, that I want you to think about. It’s okay if you don’t have an answer today.” Winter smiled at him. “Have you had enough coffee for a complicated question?”
He chuckled, the question easing any tension the approaching conversation might have caused. “I am, yeah. Bring it on.”
Winter relaxed back in his chair, eyes watching him carefully. “If I asked you to kneel for me sometimes, here, and at the club like the other boys, the subs…how would you feel about that?”
He tilted his head, pondering that. “It would be weird, I guess, and a little uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t be the only one, so I wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb.”
Winter nodded at him. “So, you’d do that for me, even if you don’t know why right now?”
He nodded. “I think so. I mean, I really think so.” He wasn’t like a balky horse, and it wasn’t like Winter was going to let anyone disrespect him. In fact, he thought it was pretty damn clear that disrespect was sort of a big deal in Winter’s circles.
“You’re a wonder, petit. And you really are mine.” Winter lifted his hand and kissed his fingers before letting them go to sip his coffee. “I was very worried about asking you that question. I wasn’t sure how you would take it. But it’s…the club is both complicated and incredibly simple depending on how you approach it, and I’ve been a member for a very long time. Some of the rituals and customs there are important to me.”
“Rules, yeah. Sam told me about that some.” And he would try to figure them out.
“Thomas and Sam have found ways to make it work for them, and we will do the same. I will make you a promise that I will not require you to do anything at the club that we haven’t tried here first. I can’t promise I won’t ask for something new, but you may refuse. And I can’t promise I won’t ask you to do something you weren’t fully comfortable with here, either. But if I do that it will be knowingly and understanding your reservations so I don’t push you too far.” Winter watched him while he took that in silently. “And you should remember, you always have your safe words. They can be used anytime, anywhere. It doesn’t have to be a scene, your hands don’t have to be restrained, those words are yours and carry weight always.”
He didn’t know what to think, but he was smart enough to understand when shit was important, to know when to nod and take it in and learn. “I’ll do my best. This is all real new.”
“I know. I know, petit. I appreciate that you’re listening. That you’re willing to try.”
“I am. I just—who invented this? It seems so big, but it’s not, like…anywhere hardly.”
Winter chuckled. “Invented? Invented what, Harley? Kink?”
“I guess? I mean, I don’t understand. Where did it come from?” It had to have come from somewhere, right? Everything had a start.
“I’m not sure. But humans want what they want, and they find a way to get it.” Winter winked at him.
“Yeah. That’s true, huh?” He was going to have to get on his computer and look.
“No kneeling any time soon, though. Not with your stitches.” Winter stood. “Do you want some juice? I do.”
“Please. Yes, please. I’m dry as a bone.” He reached out, grabbed Winter’s hand. “Thank you, Sir.”
“Mm. I like that, petit. My boy.” Winter left him, and he heard the fridge open and close and the clinking of glasses.
What an odd mood Winter was in. Unnerved and worried, but sure at the same time. Harley wasn’t absolutely certain he got it, but he was here for it.
Winter handed him a big glass of orange juice and sat in his chair again. “I’m going to have a bite of something else. Maybe…this.” Winter picked up the knife and peered at the treats on the table.
He chuckled softly, so in love it hurt. “You can’t decide, love?”
“You’re telling me this was easy for you?” Winter shook his head. “I’m going to try this chocolate thing. How do you feel about collars? Sub collars. Like the ones the boys wear at the club?”
“Well…you mean like the jewelry or the heavier ones? I can’t do any jewelry at work, it’s dangerous, but we could talk about it, sure.” That seemed fair.
“We wouldn’t break any work rules. No. I just wondered if there was something you’d seen that you liked…whether you preferred one kind over another. If I wanted to give you one.”
“I like the chain ones—it seemed…natural. Is that right?”
