Page 60 of A Perfect Engagement
Hawksridge turned slowly. His carefully schooled features gave away nothing of his feelings. “Yes, please sit.” He gestured to the stone bench.
They sat next to each other, staring out at the lake. The silence stretched on awkwardly.Say something.“Lord Hawksridge, I would like to give my sincere apology for what you saw this morning. I never intended for any of it to happen. I know my behavior was wrong, and I understand if you want to break off this engagement.” Head down, she focused on her hands, playing with the buttons on her glove.
“I don’t intend to break our engagement.”
Surprised, she twisted to face him. “You don’t? Why?”
“As your father made very clear to me, the contracts are signed, the banns are being read.” His eyes slid to her face. “I am a gentleman. And a gentleman does not break a promise. For any reason.”
He still wanted to marry her? She should feel elated; her mother certainly would be. But surely he must still be angry? Had she ruined their chances for a congenial marriage? Could they still form affection for one another after all that transpired this morning?
She needed some assurance from him. “I must ask you something, and I would like you to answer truthfully. If we go forward with this marriage, I need to know you accept my apology. That you will not punish me in the future for the mistakes I made this week. Can you do that, Miles?” She used his given name for the first time out loud.
Miles gave her a startled glance. “Before I answer, I must ask you something. Did my brother tell the truth? Was it only two kisses? It went no further?”
She nodded. Physically it was true they had shared only two kisses. Two amazing, passionate kisses. But emotionally, their relationship had delved far deeper. Not that she would ever discuss it with Miles. Daniel had left. He would likely never speak to her again. If she wanted to leave Markham House, Miles was her future now. Her mother would likely never forgive her for her transgression. And the prospect made her want to run far away. She patiently waited for Miles to respond.
“Then, my answer is yes. I forgive you.” He ran a hand through his hair in a restless gesture that was so similar to Daniel, it made her heart ache. “I never had any illusions this was a love match. To be honest, the only feeling wounded today was my pride. Charlotte, may I call you Charlotte?”
She nodded.
“Daniel was correct about one thing. We don’t know each other very well. I want to remedy that. If we are to be married, then let us proceed with confidence we can have a marriage based on mutual respect and genuine fondness.”
“You forgive me with an ease that surprises me. Will you also forgive your brother?” she asked.
Miles stood and paced to the railing. “That’s different. I don’t want to talk about him.”
Charlotte wanted to tell him what happened between them surprised Daniel too. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Miles. But Miles’s rigid shoulders and clenched jaw told her he wasn’t ready to hear any of that now. She promised herself that she would revisit it in the future. She didn’t want to be the cause of a permanent rift between the brothers. She stood and walked over to him.
“So what happens next?” she asked.
Miles faced her. His fingers brushed gently across the cheek where her mother slapped her. “Who did this?”
“Did she leave a mark?” Charlotte reached up to cover the area. “I’m sure it will disappear by tonight. Or I will cover it with powder before the ball.”
He frowned. “Under the circumstances, I think we should move the wedding date forward. We will be married in three weeks, at the end of the month.” He gave her a short bow. “I will see you tonight at dinner. Good day, Charlotte.”
Charlotte did not know which circumstances he referred to, her indiscretion with Daniel, or her mother’s abuse. She was simply happy that in three weeks she would leave her parents’ house and become Lady Hawksridge. She would be safe and cared for by a peer of the realm. She would have her own household. She would someday have children of her own. Her breath caught sharply as the hollowness in her chest threatened to overwhelm the sensible thoughts in her head. She gripped the balustrade tightly, letting the stone cut into the palms of her hand as she blinked back tears.
She would have everything she ever wanted.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
London, fourteen days until the wedding.
“Ithink thatis the last one.” Ellie sat against the back of the chair and sighed. “I don’t know if the church can hold all the people your mother has invited.”
“My fingers feel as though they will fall off,” Susanna complained.
“I know. But I cannot say a word against her these days. All this,” she waved her hand over the piles of invitations, “is her attempt to keep me busy. So I will not cause any more trouble.”
Oliva gave her a sympathetic look. “Has she been awful?”
“Yes and no. She is mollified the marriage is still happening. But she watches me like a hawk since we have returned to London. Every moment of my day is structured.” Charlotte sighed. “I suppose I’ve earned her suspicion.”
Her friends exchanged looks across the table. What was going on? Did they agree with her mother’s opinion she couldn’t be trusted? The last few days had been trying. She was only allowed out of the house if her mother accompanied her or if she was escorted by Hawksridge. True to his word, Miles had come to see her several times this past week, taking her to the opera one evening, and twice they took a ride in the park in his phaeton.
He was making an effort to pay attention to her, but she couldn’t help but wonder at his motivation. Did he truly enjoy spending time with her? Was it guilt for not attending their engagement party? Did he feel some competitive urge to win her over after all that happened with Daniel? Their conversations were stiff and formal. She couldn’t relax around him; her guilt and his stoicism sat between them like two giant boulders.
