Page 63 of Saving a Scoundrel
“Why didn’t you just come to me and warn me about the others?”
“In hindsight, that would have been more straightforward. But I didn’t want you to know about the bet at all. I didn’t want you to know that these wagers are made every day at the clubs. I guess…I thought I was protecting you. Ellie, please come here and let me hold you.”
She shook her head. “No, I need time to think.” She couldn’t be around him right now. The urge to go into his arms and forget everything she had just learned was strong. “Your life here in London, it’s…it’s fast and clearly complicated. And it’s been fun to be part of the whirl, but it’s not what I want.”
“What do you want, Ellie?” Lucius asked. “Do you still want me?”
“Not like this.” She gestured at the empty doorway where Lady Pierson had been dragged away. “I can’t bear to share you with women like that.” Tears threatened. She didn’t want to cry in front of Lucius. It wasn’t his fault that she couldn’t be droll and sophisticated and laugh off his past lovers. His tortured expression almost broke her. She loved him, but this was all too much right now. Ellie turned and raced out of the room.
She came to a halt in the hall as she spotted Susanna sitting on the staircase. Ellie put a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. Her friend stood and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Here, dear, let’s go upstairs where you can have a good cry.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lucius collapsed intoa chair. He ran a hand through his hair, gripping the ends he tugged hard; the sharp pain felt better than the pain in his chest. Ellie’s beautiful eyes shimmering with disappointment had broken him. Fucking Rosemary.Fuck!No, this was his own damn fault. All his choices were wrong. Always wrong.
He had been living his life to spite his parents for the past four years. Fulfilling every poor opinion they had ever thrown at him. He was a lazy, drunken rake. Just a spare son. Charming but worthless. So, he had played the part to the hilt. It was so much easier than trying to show them differently. He didn’t have to prove anything to them. But somehow, he had lost his true identity among all the debauchery. When you stopped caring, it became easier to do nothing than to do something.
Ellie’s lilac eyes filled with warmth and love rose in his mind.I think you have a lot of potential. I’ve just been waiting for you to see you do.The way she believed in him, the love she shared so freely, made him want to be a better version of himself. What did he want to do with his life? He leaned forward and placed his head into his hands. Could he repair the way Ellie saw him now that she knew the whole truth?
“Lucius Grisham, I have never had such a scandalous encounter in my drawing room!” Lady Dearborn’s skirts swirled into view in front of his feet.
Lucius didn’t raise his head. “I’m sorry, Lady Dearborn.”
Her skirts swished again as she sat across from him. “How in the world did you get involved with the likes of Lady Pierson?”
He shrugged. “We met at a house party.”
“Humpf. Look at me, young man. Are the things she said true?”
He raised his head to meet Lady Dearborn’s gaze. “Yes. All of it is true.” It was almost as bad as admitting it to his mother.
“My dear, why did you not come to see us for help? Lord Dearborn could have spoken with your father, or we could have lent you some money. I know things have been strained with your family this past year. But you must know we would support you as we did with your sister.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t want to add wastrel to my list of character flaws. I wanted to figure it out on my own, I guess.”
Lady Dearborn shook her head. “Well, what’s done is done. Lady Pierson won’t say another word about you. I’ve taken care of that.”
“How can you be sure? She is very vindictive.”
“You don’t survive in polite society without knowing things, and sometimes those things come in handy, like today.” Lady Dearborn winked. “The real question is, what will you do now to make a new life for yourself? Something worthy of that girl upstairs.”
He didn’t know. He was all out of plans. “I don’t think she will be able to see me the same again. Perhaps it’s best if she chooses someone different. Even that Mr. Evans. She deserves a husband who can take care of her, who isn’t wasting his life.”
“Eleanor has loved you for a long time. I don’t think she is going to give up on you too quickly. How about instead of wallowing in your mistakes, you figure out how to be the man she thinks you are.” She reached over and cupped one of his cheeks. “Now, get out of my house and go figure out your life.”
*
Lucius wandered downthe street, his hands in his jacket pockets. The gray clouds above threatened rain, and he perversely wished it would pour on him to cap off this terrible day. Working at the brewery had been awkward at best. Mac, still upset about his daughter’s hasty wedding, had stomped around the main floor shouting orders. And Mrs. Macdougal had arrived at noon to bring her husband some luncheon. More than likely still trying to make amends for her part in the elopement as Lucius had never seen her step foot in the brewery before. When she and Mac had entered the office, she had exclaimed, “What is he doing here?”
Mac had replied, “What do you mean? He works here.”
The lady had pursed her lips, and Lucius had a feeling he wouldn’t be working there much longer if she had anything to say about it.
“Ho, Grisham!” A familiar loud voice called out.
Lucius glanced up to see Hartwick pull up in his gig. Lucius tipped his hat. “Your Grace.”
Hart frowned. “You look like a sad sack of shit. What’s happened?”
