Page 57 of Someone Exactly Like Me (Wounded Hearts 1)
“No, I had something else, but I don’t need to ask it.”Stop talking, you’re sounding suspicious.
“What scares me? Failing. Failing scares me. When I got fired from that acting job, I felt like a complete failure. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.”
“Feeling like you failed at something you really want is an awful feeling.” I take a sip of water and get an organic granola bar out of my bag. “What scares you about being in a relationship?”
He looks at me for a moment, saying nothing. Then he speaks. “I don’t want to answer this one.”
“Okay, that’s fine.” Yup, there’s definitely something deeper here. I’m not going to push him. I said I’d respect his decision to decline to answer anything I asked. But, I’m so curious. “Here’s the last one. What’s your biggest fear in life?”
He leans forward in his chair a little. “That I’ll never fall in love or have a family.”
My heart sinks in my chest. What happened to him?
“That’s the last question?”
I look down at my page and lie. “Yes.”
“No, you skipped one. Ask it. I want to completely fulfill my side of our deal.”
My cheeks heat up. “It’s really just, uh, for the more intimate scenes,” I say, clearing my throat and twisting my pen between my fingers. “So, you know, you can be as vague as you want. I can fill in around it.” I wave my hands briefly, trying to indicate it’s no big deal.
“What’s the question?”
I take a sip of water, stalling. “Right, the question. So, the question is, what turns you on about a woman?” I tilt my head down toward my notebook, pen ready to write, avoiding looking at him.
“I have a question about your question.”
I look up from my notebook and he leans farther toward me. “Physically or about her personality?”
I want to disappear. “Uh, both. Let’s go with both.”I’m a grown woman for heaven’s sake. What’s wrong with me? I’m behaving like a lunatic.
He leans in even more locking his gaze on me. “Physically, her response to my touch, what I see when I look in her eyes, the way her soft skin feels under my hands. For personality, her heart, the way she behaves when no one’s looking, the way she treats others with kindness.” He pauses. “That’s a start anyway.”
Though I’m under the umbrella, I think I just melted into the sand. A light gust of wind blows, breaking his gaze on me.
As I go to write in my notebook, I drop my pen. He reaches over, picks it up, and hands it to me.
“Thank you.” I look at him briefly. “So that was uh, touch, eyes…” I scribble. “Skin was in there. Her heart, kindness. Okay, got it.” I close my notebook, putting it and my pen in my beach bag. “Thank you. This will all be really helpful for my book.” Suddenly I sound like I’m solidifying a business transaction. “I appreciate you following through with your end of the deal.”
“It’s my pleasure. Can we go in the water now?” he asks, standing up.
“Definitely. Go ahead.”
“You’re not coming?”
“No. I’ll stay here and watch our stuff.”
He walks away and over to an older couple under their umbrella to the left of us. Then he comes back.
“This nice couple will watch our things for us. Come on.” He waves his hand.
“It’s okay. Really, you go ahead.”
“Why won’t you come with me? I want you to come.”
Ugh. Now I’m being rude. Gritting my teeth, I take a deep breath and take off my hat.I can’t believe I’m doing this.I take off my coverup and sunglasses, trying my best to conceal any look of embarrassment that might be smeared all over my face.
“Come on.”
