Page 58 of Then and Now (The Edge of Retaliation 3)
“You sayin’ we don’t know what we’re fuckin’ doing?” Tatum growls at me.
Man, I’m pissed.
I know I shouldn’t be, but emotions are high and the idea of him going in and risking his life just seems like the worst idea he’s ever had.
“If you knew what you were doing, we wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with,” I yell, frustrated.
His face hardens, and I know immediately I’ve said the wrong thing. I regret it right away, but I can’t take it back. I open my mouth to apologize, but he turns to Alarick and says, “Let us know when you ride, we’re with you.”
Alarick nods, and then glances at me before turning and walking out. Tatum turns without another word and walks down the hall. Dammit, I give Tanner a look before rushing after him.
“Tatum, wait!” I call, rushing down the hall.
He stops and turns, taking a step toward me. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”
“I didn’t mean it. I’m just … The idea of losing you both as well, I was just scared. Those men know what they’re doing, they’ve got the manpower, I don’t know why you’d go risk your life when you don’t have to.”
“Because that’s my fuckin’ brother, Jo. He’s the only one I have. He’s made mistakes, but he needs me and I’m goin’ to be there. I’m goin’ in, because that’s what I want to do.”
“Even if it means you die?” I whisper, my face scrunching in pain.
“Yeah,” he growls, “even if it means I die.”
My bottom lip trembles. “What about me?”
He exhales, and his fists clench. “This isn’t about you, Jo. You gotta know that. I have to be there for him, even if it’s a risk. Can’t you understand that?”
I shake my head, horrified. “No, I can’t understand why you’d rather risk your life then let those men do it for us.”
I turn and walk off, hands trembling, body so full of emotion I feel like I’m about to burst. I can barely breathe by the time I find the exit and step outside. I glance left, and then right, and then I close my eyes and drop my head. I shouldn’t be out here, I know that, but I’m so tired of following all the rules when nobody gives a crap how I feel.
“Shouldn’t be out here.”
I whip my head to the side to see Alarick leaning against his bike, cigarette in his hand, smoke lingering around him making him look so gorgeous it’s hard to think of anything else.
“Why did you have to tell him he could come?” I say, my voice tight.
“He’s a grown ass man, not up to me to tell him he can’t be there for his brother.”
“He could die, Alarick!”
“Yeah, he fuckin’ could. We could die right fuckin’ know if those men are watchin’ with their guns loaded. Life’s a risk, Joanne. You gotta do what you gotta do for family. That’s his family, you gotta respect that.”
I exhale. “I know it’s his family, but I also know if he dies …”
“Yeah, it’ll fuck you up. You be with a man like that, it’s a risk you take. Trust that he ain’t stupid, give him the support he needs, or he’ll be gone before you know it.”
Dammit.
I’ve fucked up.
I know I have.
“I’m just scared, Ethan could die and those men …”
“Those men ain’t your problem anymore. They’re mine, and I’ll take care of it. You got my word on that.”
“Why are you helping us?” I ask him, narrowing my eyes. “Risking everything?”
“When a problem is presented to me, I tackle it. I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to help you if you were anyone else, but you work for me and it was dangerous. That’s what I do.”
I nod, and then in a soft voice, I say, “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. Now get back inside before you end up hurt, too.”
I do as he asks.
I get back inside.
22
CALLIE
There’s still no good news.
He’s out of surgery, he made it out of that alive, but he’s currently on life support—they don’t know if he’ll make it through the rest of the night and morning. I wanted to see him, but they said right now, we can’t visit. However, if they think they’ll have to turn life support off, we’ll be able to go in and say goodbye.
Say goodbye.
Those words make me sick to my stomach.
Tanner insists I go home and get some rest. I protest, but my body is exhausted, and I can’t put up much of a fight for long. So, we leave the hospital. The nurse promises to call if there is any change, any at all. I thank her, and we leave.
The entire ride home is silent, I just stare out the window, watching the buildings and cars whizz by, and I feel numb. Completely numb. My entire body and brain feels like it’s shut down on me, like there isn’t a single thing that’ll wake me out of this trance I’m in.
