Page 50 of Then and Now (The Edge of Retaliation 3)
The lady stares at us, and then smiles and says, “Of course, how lovely. Come in.”
I’m beaming by the time we walk into the kitchen area, where there are cooks lined up, with big pots of soup. Mrs. Roberts, as she refers to herself, sets us up at the end, so once the homeless have gotten their main meal, they can come and grab a cupcake.
It feels so incredibly rewarding, especially to the families with children that see the cupcakes and their little eyes light up. That’s everything, it really is. I’ve never experienced such joy in my life, and I vow then and there that I’m going to do this every single year. Not just for Celia, but for myself and the rewarding feeling that comes with it.
Even Tanner is grinning, a smile I never thought I’d see again.
It makes everything worthwhile.
When we’re out of cupcakes, Mrs. Roberts thanks us profusely and we promise to come again soon. We leave and place the containers in the car before climbing in. I exhale an exhausted sigh, and look over to Tanner. “That was incredible. I know why Celia loved it so much, I don’t think I’ve ever felt such joy before in my life.”
Tanner nods. “She felt the same. She loved helping people. She made it her life’s mission. If she was still here, I think she would have extended it by now, and would probably be workin’ all the time in those places. She liked to know she could give back somehow.”
“She was an incredible person,” I say, as he turns the truck on and pulls out.
“She was,” he murmurs.
We fall into silence and when I notice he’s not going the way to my apartment, I say, “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
We drive until we reach the beach. At night, it’s dark but I can hear the waves crashing against the shore. It’s a sound I’ll never tire of. Living near the ocean really is such a nice experience. I always wanted to live close by. I often come here and walk along the sand. It feels good, great even.
We get out of the truck and Tanner walks down to the path that leads to the ocean. I follow eagerly, sighing with relief when my toes hit the sand. We reach the long stretch of bliss, and I can only just see Tanner in the light from the moon. He finds a spot on the sand and sits down in the darkness. I sit beside him.
“Celia and I used to love come to the beach for vacation. It was our favorite thing to do. When we would go, we’d sneak out once Mom and Dad were asleep and go to the sand, sitting on it in the darkness, and we’d talk for hours. She shared all her dreams with me, sitting right here like this.”
My heart breaks for him. Even now, even after all these years, the hurt in his voice shows me just how much he misses his sister.
“What were her dreams?” I ask.
“She wanted to be a vet.” He chuckles, low. “I always told her she was crazy; she couldn’t do it because she was too soft. She’d see an animal die and she’d not be able to cope. She cried for four weeks when our dog died, she just couldn’t recover. She had that kind of soul, that one in a million.”
“Maybe that would have made her the best kind of vet,” I offer, smiling.
“Yeah, maybe. She would have a house so big, because she would have to bring all the strays home. Never mind a boyfriend, she’d be too busy adopting animals.”
I laugh. “I can’t say I blame her; they do bring a lot of joy.”
“Yeah,” he says, his voice dropping low. “She was so happy, so fuckin’ happy until she met Chase. He ruined everything for her.”
I exhale, understanding what he’s saying but knowing too that Celia was a young girl, and, eventually, she was going to find someone. That someone just happened to be the wrong person. “Chase isn’t a bad person he just made a bad choice. He’s living with that choice.”
“So he should,” Tanner mutters.
“Is that why you haven’t been in a hurry to find him? I figured with him being gone, things would be more urgent, but they don’t seem to be.”
“I want him back, for Tatum’s sake, but am I sorry he’s suffering for this hole he dug? No. I’m not. Celia counted on him to protect her, and he didn’t. He let her down in the one way a man should never fail.”
I go silent, because what is there to say to that? I understand what he’s saying, I really do. Chase should have protected Celia, and if he couldn’t, he shouldn’t have been with her. Especially if he knew he was in danger.
