Page 61 of Then and Now (The Edge of Retaliation 3)
I look back at the others, and Jo has tears streaming down her face. I give her a smile, and then follow the doctor down the halls. We get onto the elevator and go to the ICU ward, where I’m made to wash my hands, put on a gown and wear a mask. They don’t want to risk any sort of infection being passed onto Ethan while his system is so down.
When we reach his room, the doctor opens the door and we step inside. The first thing I notice is that there are so many machines. He’s hooked up to everything but a breathing tube. There are tubes coming out of his nose, his arms, and one even goes under his gown. There are machines beeping everywhere, and the whole scene is just … upsetting. Ethan’s eyes are open, and they move to me when I walk in. He’s pale, really really pale, and he looks like he hasn’t slept for six months, but I see relief in his face.
The doctor tells me I’ve got ten minutes and leaves.
I walk over, carefully picking up Ethan’s hand and looking down at him. “You have no idea how scared I was, Ethan. No idea.”
His lips twitch, and he croaks, “You and me both.”
“Are you feeling okay? They said you’re still critical?”
“I feel horrible, every single part of me hurts, even lifting my arm takes energy I never thought I’d have to conjure up.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, squeezing his hand. “You never should have gotten hurt because of my actions.”
“It’s not your fault, Callie,” he says, his voice hoarse, “I wanted to be a part of all of this, it was my choice, and nobody forced me to do it.”
“You’re strong, so damn strong. I honestly thought I’d lost you.”
He squeezes my hand lightly. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
I laugh and tears roll down my cheeks, disappearing under my mask.
“Stop that crying, anyone will think you’ve gone soft.”
I smile and he squeezes my hand again.
“I’ve called Raven,” I tell him, “She’s getting a flight in the next hour, so she’ll be here soon.”
“Thank you,” he murmurs.
“I’m going to let you rest now, because you look exhausted.”
“I feel it,” he says, closing his eyes, like the very effort of keeping them open hurts.
I stroke his cheek and say quietly, “I love you, Ethan.”
He smiles, even with his eyes closed. “Love you too, Callie.”
My heart feels whole again.
I walk out of the room and back out to where everyone is waiting, Jo rushes over first, her eyes puffy and red, “Is he okay?”
I nod. “Yeah, he’s better than I thought. Talking was exhausting for him, but he’s strong, and he’s going to make it through, I can feel it.”
“Oh, thank god,” she says, hugging me close. “I was so scared.”
“Me too,” I say, letting her go. “Where are Tanner and Tatum?”
She frowns. “They’ve gone to talk with Alarick. They’re going in tonight.”
Tonight?
No. I just got one person back, the idea of possibly losing someone after everything that has happened, is too much to bear.
“Tonight?” I whisper.
Jo nods. “I’ve tried to talk Tatum out of it, but he’s going. There is nothing we can do about it.”
“I didn’t even try to convince Tanner not to go for the simple fact that I know it will be pointless, he’s going to want to finish this, because it was him that needed to bring these men down for Celia.”
Jo nods. “Still, it’s scary. I already feel sick.”
I take her hand. “We’ll get through this. They’re with the best of the best. They’ll end it, and they’ll come home to us.”
“What if they don’t, Callie? I don’t think I can handle it.”
I look into her eyes and say, “They’ll come home, Jo.”
I hope I’m right.
God. I hope I’m right.
23
JOANNE
My heart is tight as I watch him pull on his jeans, drag a shirt over his head, and pull a jacket on. He stuffs a gun into his pants, shoves his feet into his boots, and then turns and looks at me. I take him in, really take him in. The way his damp hair falls over his forehead, the way his eyes seem so light set amongst his olive skin.
I can’t bear the thought of something happening to him.
Yet I know I can’t stop him from going and the idea of him leaving while we’re fighting is too much to bear.
So I walk over and slide my arms under his, pulling him in for a hug and pressing my cheek to his chest. I can smell leather, and the soft scent of soap from his shower. I inhale deeply, and close my eyes, needing to feel him for just a second longer.
His arms go around me, and his chin rests on the top of my head. He hangs onto me for what feels like ages, but is likely only minutes, short minutes, that will never seem long enough.
