Page 37 of Pas de Trois
I’m hyperventilating.
I’m panicking.
“Stop it,” I say to myself. “Stop it, stop it, stop it.”
I need Ezra.
I need to...to breathe.
I can’t breathe.
I gasp with no success.
I topple sideways to the floor.
Consciousness slips away.
Crying.
I hear crying.
I open my eyes to see that I’ve fallen asleep in the rocking chair. I look down, though the baby isn’t in my arms. I glance around the room until my eyes fall on the beautiful wooden crib in the corner. I’m humming an unfamiliar tune as I rise from my seat and slowly move toward it.
I look down over the side of it to see a tiny baby lying on his back, arms and legs stiffly pawing at the air as he reaches for his mother with uncoordinated movements.
He’s brand-new to the world.
I want to keep him safe.
His eyes are closed as he cries out and I’m drawn to him. His one-piece pajamas have a pattern of tiny rainbows printed on them. At least, I think they’re rainbows. I don’t see any color. I blink, glancing around the room again and realize that nothing is in color.
Everything is black and white.
I’m still humming the tune I don’t recognize.
The baby boy screams harder and I can’t ignore the instinctual pull to lift him, to hold him, to comfort him in my arms. I reach over the edge of the crib and place my hand on his belly, rubbing a gentle, soft circle to comfort him with my touch.
That’s when he opens his eyes.
That’s when color returns to my world.
Bright green light sparkles in his familiar gaze and from it, color ripples throughout the room.
Green eyes.
Enchanting green eyes and sandy blond hair.
Ezra.
He looks like Ezra.
This is my baby…our baby.
I smile so wide it makes my cheeks ache and I lift the tiny squirming boy from his crib. I hold him closely to my chest, still humming that tune. Perhaps it’s a lullaby I heard somewhere before.
My baby boy calms in my arms, his cries gently change to soft coos of happiness. He’s where he belongs, right here in my arms.
“I’m so lucky to be yours.” Ezra’s voice comes from behind me and I turn to see him in the doorway to the nursery.
