Page 53 of Jar of Hearts
She found her coat underneath a stack of other coats in the front living room and slipped it on as Kaiser was coming through the front door. He was with Barb Polanco, and they were holding hands. Geo felt a slight sting, but it passed. She had a boyfriend, after all. Why couldn’t Kaiser have a girlfriend?
Because, her brain said stubbornly.Because he’s supposed to be inlove with you forever and ever; that’s the way this is supposed to work.A completely selfish thought, but it’s how she felt, nonetheless.
“Heading out already?” Kaiser said to her, helping Barb out of her coat.
Barb smiled shyly at Geo. She looked even blonder this week than she had the week before. Since when did Kaiser like blondes? Geo forced herself to smile back.
“Yeah, I’m wiped.”
Looking at her closely, he frowned. “You drunk?”
“Only a little,” she said.
“Did you eat the fruit?”
“I’m fine,” Geo said, annoyed. “I’ll see you guys Monday.”
“How are you getting home?”
“She’ll be okay,” Barb said to him. “She’s got it handled. Let’s go get a drink.”
“One minute,” he said to her, handing her back her coat. “Geo. Let’s go talk.”
Geo rolled her eyes. “I’m fine, Kai,” she said again, but he took her by the elbow and led her to the laundry room down the hall, leaving Barb standing by herself in the front hallway, holding her coat.
He shut the door, muting the music pulsing throughout the rest of the house. Geo leaned against the dryer and looked up at him. The room smelled fresh, like laundry detergent and fabric softener and thelavender sachets that Chad’s mom kept in a wicker bowl on one of the shelves. “Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend?”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he said, looking down at her with concern.
“I’m a little drunk, so what?” The room was spinning. “I just need to lie down.”
“I’ll take you home.”
Geo shook her head. “Not necessary. Besides, I don’t think Barb would appreciate it.”
“Are you okay with that?” he said. “About me and Barb?”
“Why would you even ask me that?” She frowned. The lights in the laundry room were bright, and she had to squint to look up at him. “I didn’t ask you what you thought about me and Calvin.”
“I know you didn’t. But I’ll tell you what I think if you want me to.”
“Kai, come on—” Geo took a step toward the door, but he barred her way.
“Why can’t it be me and you?” he said, moving close to her. Their hips were almost touching. He placed a hand on her back, sliding it up underneath her hair until it was cupping the back of her neck. “You have to know how I feel about you.”
“Because we’re best friends,” she said. Had he always been this cute, or was it because he had a girlfriend now? His blue eyes were locked on hers. He had long eyelashes.
“That should be the reason why, not the reason why not,” he said.
“What about Barb? And Calvin?”
“Well, I like Barb…,” he said, but didn’t continue.
“Well, I love Calvin,” she said.
He dropped his hand. That hurt him. She could see it in his face. But what was she supposed to do? Lie?
Suddenly, he moved in, and his lips were on hers. They were surprisingly soft, filled with urgency. Geo didn’t respond at first, but then she did, opening her mouth. His hands were on the sides of her face, and he kissed her like she was the only person who existed tohim. He tasted so different from Calvin. Sweeter. Younger. Gentler. Which was exactly how he was. She felt herself responding, leaning into him, and it was a whole different feeling. With Calvin, there was never anything physical that wasn’t accompanied by some degree of guilt. Guilt that he was too old, guilt that he was taking over her life, guilt that she was hiding him from her father. With Kaiser, there was none of that. She was fully herself, and she felt safe. Kaiser would never hurt her, never push her to be anything other than who she was… but she had the capacity to shred him to pieces.
