Page 104 of Things We Do in the Dark
As they were about to pass the defense table, her mother finally turned. Their gazes locked, and Ruby smiled. Her lawyer smiled, too, but Joey could only see one person.
She knew every line of her mother’s face; she knew what every millimeter of every facial expression meant. Joey had spent her entire existence trying to predict the weather of her mother’s emotions, always on high alert for a brewing storm and that split-second shift from clear skies to a Category 5 hurricane. Ruby had many smiles, but today, right now,thissmile was sunshine.
Joey broke free from Deborah’s hand. Squeezing past the lawyer, she threw herself into her mother’s arms.
Ruby hugged her back just as tightly, her fingers stroking the back of Joey’s hair. “Remember what we talked about,” she murmured.
Neither of them let go until the bailiff came over to separate them.
Joey took a seat on the witness stand. Deborah sat two rows behind the crown attorney’s table, right by the aisle, so she and Joey could see each other clearly. She gave Joey a soft smile and a head tilt, as if to say,You got this.
Duffy began to ask her questions. They had been over this, they had practiced, and Joey knew exactly what to say. During prep she had found herself detaching whenever the questions got too hard and the memories were too much. Each time, Duffy would force her to come back.You have to stay present, Joelle. The jury needs to understand what you’ve been through, and to understand it, they need to feel it. And for them to feel it,youneed to feel it. If just for this one time. I know you can do this, Joelle.
Joey answered questions about her upbringing, the various apartments they’d lived in, the bare cupboards, the closets she sometimes slept in when she didn’t feel safe in her bed. She told the jury about the physical abuse, her mother’s revolving door of boyfriends, the sounds of sex happening in the next room that she wasn’t supposed to hear. The jurors’ facial expressions changed constantly. One moment, they were sad for her. The next, they were angry at Ruby. And in between, there was pity. So much pity.
“I know this is hard, Joelle,” Duffy said. “And I want to reiterate how wonderfully you’re doing, and what a brave young lady you are. But now I want to talk about Charles Baxter. I want you to walk us through the night he was killed. Can you tell us what you saw?”
For this, Joey could not look at her mother. And she could not lookat Deborah, either. Instead, she focused on Duffy’s face. She had no emotional connection to the crown attorney, who once again was just another person who said she wanted to help because she was being paid to do it. She would pretend that the jurors were just blank pages, waiting to be filled with the truth.
It didn’t necessarily have to bethetruth. Justhertruth.
Joey took a deep breath, and began.
A few days before Charles Baxter was killed, he had ended his affair with her mother for the fourth time in two years. Ruby was, to put it mildly, very upset.
“The asshole won’t answer his phone.” Her mother was on her third cigarette in twenty minutes as she paced around the living room. “He thinks he can just drop me? Oh no. No no no.”
Joey was curled into the corner of the sofa. She had seen this before. Her mother was like this after every breakup, bouncing from anger to self-pity and back again, like she was playing Ping-Pong with herself. This was the anger, and there was nothing to be done about it. The only thing Joey could do was listen and nod and agree. Anything else would only make things worse.
Ruby pressed the redial button on their cordless phone, which was, ironically, a gift from Charles. Joey could hear it ringing on the other end. After six rings, it went to voice mail. Again. She whipped the phone at the couch, where it missed Joey’s foot by a few inches.
“I should just call the fucker at home. I’ll talk to his wife. Want to bet how quick he calls back then?”
Very bad idea. “I don’t want him to be angry at you, Mama.”
Her mother stopped. “You’re right. He would be. And then he’ll never pick up the phone.” She finished her cigarette, walked over to the sliding door that opened to the balcony, and flicked the butt over the edge. Walking back toward Joey, she said, “I need a distraction. Let’s get out of here. Let’s go see a movie. Anything you want.”
Joey perked up. Going to the movies was a rarity, and it was even rarer for her mother to suggest it. “I’ll check the listings.”
Her mother didn’t respond, so Joey picked up the phone and dialed 777-FILM. The call was answered almost immediately.Hell-O! And welcome to Moviefone…
She listened to that weekend’s movie listings and memorized them, then turned to her mother. “The only PG movie isBatman Returns,” she said, holding her breath.Please please please…
Ruby shrugged. “Fine.”
“It’s opening day, so we might have to pick the tickets up early. There’s a nine o’clock show.”
“Okay.”
“Maybe if we leave soon, I could get the tickets, and then we could have dinner at the diner while we wait?” Joey knew she was pushing her luck.
“Sure.”
Yay. “I can go find your glasses while you take a shower.”
Her mother had not showered in three days.
“All right.”
