Page 70 of Tight Ends & Tiaras
SIENNA
The poundingof hooves fills my ears as Ben and I canter along the last stretch of the trail where it opens up back to the stables. Our guide suggested not letting the horses gallop since this is Lily’s first time on a horse, but she’s taken to it like a minnow to water.
The guide at this ranch has been great, taking time to introduce Lily to the horse and giving us a beginner’s lesson on riding and safety, which I know Ben appreciated.
I feel terrible for thinking this, but I’m glad we don’t run into Janelle. I told Ben which ranch our roommates went to this afternoon, and I suspect he deliberately chose a different one. Thank God.
Lily’s gleeful laugh makes me grin, and I slow down just enough to take a few photos on my phone. She’s sitting in front of Ben on the saddle with his giant arm wrapped around her. But she’s also wearing a small vest that straps onto her dad for extra security.
I’ve been trying to take pics this whole trip. Ben missed so many moments with his daughter as she was growing up, and I want to show him that he can make up for those times by being in the moment.
Being outside like this feels so good, and after that session I had with the guys this morning, I’m dying to get back to my yoga classes in Charming. I’m realizing how my head injury, compliments of Cal’s orgy, kept me from doing something I love, which I think made me a little depressed. But I’m ready to get my mojo back.
Since I got into yoga, I’ve never gone this long without it.
This break has been good for me, though. It’s given me perspective.
I’m never going to be the genius my father wants me to be, but I am good at yoga. Why not embrace that and lean into my strengths? He can’t mold me into a computer coder any more than I can snap my fingers and turn Janelle into a nice person. Why should I lament life because I can’t be something I’m not and never will be?
Besides, it’s not my style to mope.
When I get back to campus, I’ll march straight to my counselor’s office and make sure my courses are on track for my senior year. Then maybe my dad will consider funding my yoga initiative.
We’re sweaty and hot, but I’m reluctant to return to the cabin and Janelle’s drama. Ben must be feeling similarly because he asks if I want to stay for the campfire dinner the ranch throws for its visitors.
When we’re back on the ground, I jog over to Ben, who’s holding Lily up in the air and blowing raspberries on her tummy. After I snap a few pics, I join in.
“You did such a great job on the horse, Lily! Did you have fun?”
“I wanna horsie, Senna.”
Ben and I look at each other and then turn back to Lily. I tickle her. “Did you just say, ‘I want a horse, Sienna?’ Did you just say Sienna?”
She claps. “Senna.”
“Yeah, baby!” I give her a high-five. “Can you say ‘Daddy?’”
“Dada.” Bashful, she tucks her face into Ben’s neck and clings to him like a little monkey.
Aww.
The precious grin on her father’s face melts my heart. God, I want to bottle up this moment.
See, this is why I cry when I watch Hallmark movies.
Sniffling, I break out the map our guide gave us and figure out where the bonfire is.
When we get there, we’re joined by a few other families. Ben and I take turns overcooking hot dogs and marshmallows, and eventually Lily falls asleep against his chest as we listen to an old guy in overalls play his fiddle.
This feels so domestic. Like Ben and Lily and I are a family. It reminds me of the fun stuff my parents used to do with me and my brothers when we were little. How they’d take us to the beach to fly kites, and we’d end up tired and sunburned and sticky but so happy.
By the time we get home, it’s dark. Before we left to go horseback riding, he texted Janelle to let her know what we were doing, and he left his ringer on all day, but she never responded.
As we walk up to the cabin, Ben threads his fingers through mine. He pulls me to a stop a few feet from the front door. Lily is still clinging to him, half-asleep with her thumb in her mouth.
Keeping his voice lowered, he says, “I’m not sure what we’re walking into, but before the craziness starts again, I just wanted to tell you that I can’t remember the last time I’ve had this much fun. And it’s one hundred percent because of you.” He tugs me to him and kisses me on the forehead.
“Thanks for taking me horseback riding. That was a blast.”
