Page 41 of Tight Ends & Tiaras
I mean to say like, but love slipped out, and I’m going with it. It feels right. Because under his gruff exterior is a huge heart. Lily will discover that and love her dad eventually.
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find a man who will love me unconditionally when even my father has limits, but I’m so tired of the dark thoughts I’ve been nursing since Cal cheated on me. This vacation is the perfect opportunity to find my center again and be the contented person I know I can be.
It’s helped to have a reason to get up in the morning, get dressed, and cover up the bruises on my face. So I guess in some regard I’m grateful to have Janelle around because then I have to pretend to be my best self. Fake it till you make it, right?
Ben’s eyes soften. “God, I wish I had the same kind of faith, but thanks for saying that. I need to do better. I’ve just never been around toddlers before like this. My cousins were young when my uncle adopted me, but I didn’t have to take care of them, you know?”
“Yeah. And it’s not like you signed up for extra babysitting sessions when Rider got Poppy last year,” I tease.
He gives me a sheepish look. “I’m an asshole. I one hundred percent admit that.” His dark eyes search mine for a moment. “I’ve, uh, I’ve been meaning to ask...”
His deep voice and hypnotic dark eyes have me leaning closer.
Everything inside me warms as I stare at him. “Yes?”
“Have you talked to my sister lately?”
I blink a few times. Not what I thought he was going to ask. A hot wave of embarrassment hits me, and I try to play it off. What did you think was going to happen, Sienna? That he was going to kiss you? With his smoking hot baby mama in the other room? Get a grip.
We’re talking low in a bedroom so Janelle doesn’t overhear, but it also creates a false sense of intimacy we really have no right to share.
I take a subtle step backwards so we’re not right in each other’s faces, but still keep my voice down. “We haven’t spoken lately. Rider’s busy at training camp, and she’s been making the rounds with the other players’ wives and girlfriends. By the sound of it, I don’t think she’s ever been so social.” My little bumblebee is doing so well! Love that girl. “She sounds happy, though. Why?”
“So she doesn’t know what happened with Cal or Janelle?”
“The Cal thing felt more like a phone call than something I could text, and her schedule has been all over the place. If I’m being honest, I’m embarrassed I didn’t heed her warnings about Cal. She and Rider tried to tell me he was bad news, but I didn’t want to judge him based on gossip. I gave him the benefit of the doubt when I should’ve listened to my friends. Stupid, stupid, stupid.” I sigh. “And the Janelle situation didn’t seem like my business to share.”
“You’re right—under normal circumstances, listening to gossip is bullshit. So don’t let that asshole change this in here.” He taps on my shoulder as his eyes sear mine. But then his scruffy jaw tightens and he looks away. “I need to call Gabriela.” Oh, my God, I’ve always loved how he rolls the r in his sister’s name. And when he’s angry and speaks Spanish, my ovaries go up in flames. “And my aunt and uncle. Tell them what’s going on. I’ve just been... overwhelmed.”
His whole body is tense, almost vibrating with anxiousness, and my heart melts. Because sweet, vulnerable Ben is my weakness.
I tug on his shirt. “None of that. We’re on vacation. Your only goals are to relax and get to know Lily. The rest can wait. Focus on being in the moment.”
His lips tug up, and seeing his anxiety fade makes my day. “You’re right. It’s like when I’m playing football. I only concentrate on the game. That’s it. Everything else is a distraction.”
“See, you already know how to do this. Just apply that same focus now.”
He hooks his arm around my shoulders as we head out to join his friends. “I have a feeling you’re my lucky charm, sunshine.”
When Janelle sees us and narrows her eyes at me, I get the feeling I might need some luck too this week so I can figure out how to maneuver these waters.
Because I suspect they’re going to get choppy.
