Page 138 of Tight Ends & Tiaras
BEN
“Thanks for helping out, Bianca,”I tell my cousin. “Sorry you’re missing school.”
She lifts Lily in her arms and twirls her around. My daughter giggles and tries to eat her hair.
“I’m not. Missing class is the best part.”
“Are you gonna get in trouble?”
“Nah. Papi told the principal I had mono.” She laughs with a wicked glint in her eye. “I didn’t think he’d actually use that excuse when I suggested it. I don’t think he knows that mono is mostly caught from kissing.”
“If Tío catches you kissing some rando, he’s gonna lose his shit.”
“He lost it after you left. He was so mad at Janelle.” She grabs my arm. “I’m sorry I wasn’t home this weekend. Mami said I’m not old enough to hear everything y’all were discussing. Hard eye roll right there. My parents think I’m still a kid. Their hair would fall out if they knew all the things I really do.”
“Jesus. Don’t tell me.” I hold my hands up. “Ignorance is bliss.”
She elbows me in the gut. “Shut up and kiss your kid goodbye.”
I kiss Lily and hug Bianca. It was such a shock to see her on my porch last night. I honestly had no plan for today. Magnolia had a conflict early in the morning, which is usually when Sienna would watch Lily.
“Okay, I’ll see you tonight. Maggie will be by after her class to give you a break.” I shove a few snacks in my backpack. I can’t help but glance around the house and look for Sienna. I do that a lot lately. Granted, it’s only been a few days, but they’ve been the longest of my life.
I miss her with an acuteness that’s downright painful.
I cut classes and practice yesterday because I didn’t have childcare. I figured that Krud already hates me. What’s one missed practice? I called it in. Listened to him yell at me. Whatever.
I’m feeling strangely apathetic about everything. Life. Classes. Football.
Lily is the only one I don’t feel apathetic about.
And Sienna.
But I don’t know if I can describe how I feel about her. Mostly I’m really fucking hurt and pissed even though I’d give my left nut to see her.
I’m gutted she believed Janelle’s theatrics. That she let another woman break us up. That she thought so little of me she fucking ghosted me out of left field.
It feels wrong to be living at her place without her. Part of me wants to find another apartment, but that would probably screw up Sienna’s lease.
Not that she gives a shit about it, seeing how she up and moved out of her house without saying a word.
By the time I’m done with early-morning conditioning and classes, I’m exhausted. I drag my ass to practice, change my clothes, and shove all my shit into the locker.
Coach Nicholson has us practicing deep corner routes. He and Krud are talking heatedly on the sidelines when Krud yells my name.
I jog over to him, and he waves his thumb behind him. “You missed practice yesterday. Run ten laps.”
I don’t bother to argue. The man hates me, and I have no idea why. When I tried to explain the situation with my daughter, he told me, “I don’t give a shit. You’re on the team to win. Period.”
So I run two and a half miles.
The sun beats down on me, sweat stings my eyes, and I keep going.
It would be easy to give into the bleakness whirling through me right now, but the anger and frustration propels me. One step and then the next.
In the back of my mind, I hear Sienna telling me to look on the bright side. Telling me that I’ll be faster in my next game because I’m working harder now. I fucking miss her.
And yeah, she blocked my ass on her phone, so I can’t even beg her to listen to me.
