Page 109 of Tight Ends & Tiaras
BEN
I’m an ass.I know this. Sienna sneaks into my room, brings me dinner, lets me fuck her into oblivion, and the only thing she wants to know is what’s wrong.
Do I tell her I can’t get Winston’s poisonous words out of my mind? That it bothers me more than I can articulate to know she gave him mind-blowing head too?
It’s total bullshit. There’s no way someone with a track record like mine should be giving Sienna shit for hooking up with anyone. She could’ve fucked the whole football team, and it would literally be none of my business. This shit is completely hypocritical of me on so many levels.
But that doesn’t diminish the wild streak of jealousy pounding through me. The fact that I’m being edged out on the field by Winston and a new transfer doesn’t do anything to lessen my shitty mood. And I take meager comfort in the black eye that fucker will be sporting tomorrow.
I feel it, how Winston’s vitriol has burrowed under my skin and spread like a virus. How the hell do I dig it out?
Dr. Patricia always tells me I have to unearth my feelings before they fester. I don’t know what that means in this case. I don’t think I can bring myself to tell Sienna about the crap Winston said about her. Unloading my shit on her will only hurt her feelings. And I made one promise to myself when we got this thing started—that I would never hurt her. So no fucking way am I going to tell her about that conversation.
All I can hope is that I’m over it by the time I move back in with her once camp ends.
My mood is grim when I stretch my swollen hand, which, thankfully, Sienna didn’t notice last night. With a swipe of my towel, I wipe the condensation from my shower off the bathroom mirror and study the bruise on my face.
Coach might bench my ass for what happened yesterday, but I lucked out that no one really saw what happened besides two of my buddies.
From the glances I get in the locker room, the guys know what happened, but no one brings it up.
Krud looks pissed when he storms into the meeting room. I glance at Winston, whose busted lip and black eye perversely make me smile. He doesn’t look like a peacock today.
When he peers over at me, I’m sure my expression tells him everything he needs to know because he looks away first.
Krud glares at me, then at Winston, before he pounds once on the podium. “In case it isn’t clear, fighting is not tolerated. Anyone who has proof of a fight can bring it to me.”
When no one says anything, I smirk.
Fuck Winston.
Sienna deserves better than that piece of shit trash-talking about her. The more I think about it, the more I realize he made several veiled references to her sexually last year in the locker room. Beating his ass was worth the swollen hand and jaw.
It’s obvious Krud has no evidence Winston and I fought, unless that little weasel went to him to complain. When Coach doesn’t play me in the scrimmage, I have my answer. It doesn’t matter. It’s better for my hand anyway.
By Sunday, when I finally get my first day off after two weeks of nonstop practice, I’m in a vicious mood. Krud hasn’t let up. He might not have given any kind of official punishment for fighting, but it’s obvious he thinks I was responsible. And yeah, I might’ve thrown the first punch, but Winston is the one who approached me and said such vile things about my girlfriend. I’m sure he didn’t bother to mention any of that to Krud.
When I pull up to Sienna’s house, relief hits me hard. I need to see my girls. I need my dose of sunshine. Despite the awkward conversation we had when Sienna visited the dorms, she still video-calls at night so I can talk to Lily. And while Sienna acts like nothing’s wrong, I know we still need to talk.
I’m not sure what I can say about Winston, but at the same time, I don’t want his crap building in my head. But I want to take Dr. Patricia’s words to heart about being open. At least as much as I can without hurting Sienna.
Not being able to see my therapist since training camp started isn’t helping either, but I’ve been thinking long and hard about the advice Dr. P has given me over the last year to try to keep my shit together.
Lily and Sienna are the antidote to my bad mood. Except I see Magnolia when I walk through the front door instead of my girlfriend.
“Daddy!” Lily scoots off the couch and beelines it to me. I scoop her up and cover her face in kisses.
“Hey, peanut. Are you being a good girl?”
She nods and starts babbling about... well, I’m not sure what, but she’s cute as shit, and I kiss her again.
“Hi, Magnolia.” I glance around. “Where’s Sienna?”
“She had to go to Austin at the last minute. She said she texted you.”
Austin? Fuck.
I put down my daughter and reach into my gym bag where I threw my phone in with a load of laundry I need to run.
