Page 116 of Power
“I didn’t live anywhere, Emily.” I look up to see Emily turn her head to the side, and bite on her lower lip. “I’d hide through the day, and at nighttime I’d sneak back and sleep under the house.”
“Oh my God,” Emily sighs as she lifts her hand to cover her mouth. “Did it get better after that?”
I shake my head. “It only got worse. She found out the boyfriend was cheating on her with someone, so she got rid of him and basically said I could come back home.”
“Wait, she caught him with someone else and she got rid of him, but when she found him with you, she was on his side?”
“Basically.”
“What happened next?”
I give her the rundown of her next boyfriend, reducing Emily to tears. “I won’t say anything more, baby.” I drag her over toward me and wrap my arms around her tiny, quaking shoulders. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you.”
“I’m crying because I feel so bad for you, Mommy. She’s a horrible person, and you shouldn’t have gone through that.”
I kiss the top of her head, contemplating not telling her how I was forced to sell my body, or even how I became pregnant with her. “I never wanted you to know about any of this.”
“You don’t have to tell me anymore.”
But if I don’t, her mind won’t be at ease, and she might try to find the answers elsewhere. I’d rather she finds out the truth from me, than a twisted lie from someone else. “You need to know.” I swallow back the hurt in my throat, then tell her everything. By the time I’m finished, Emily has tears streaking her pink cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry all those horrible things have happened to you. No one deserves that.” My biggest worry is Emily now knows how she was conceived. As she’s hugging me, she asks, “I’m sorry that man did that to you when you had no one. I’m sorry you became pregnant with me.”
I pull back and clasp her cheeks in my hand and give her a warm smile. “Hey, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Emily. The. Best. Thing. You give me a reason to breathe every single day. I love you and have loved you from the moment I felt you kick for the first time. My heart beats for you, my sweet girl.”
Emily lowers her gaze and bursts into tears. “I love you too, Mommy.” She throws herself onto me, crying as she hugs me with all her might. “Thank you for being my mommy.”
“Thank you for being my favorite person in the entire world.”
She pulls back and manages a feeble smile. Emily’s still staring down between us. “Um, Mommy, can I tell you something and you won’t be mad?”
If she tells me someone has done to her what happened to me, I’ll hunt them down and tear them limb from limb. My self-pity is being replaced by pure, undiluted fury. “You can tell me anything.” I’m preparing myself for what I’m about to hear. I’ll fucking end him, destroy his life before burying him in the ground. Whoever this fucker is, he’s about to meet the wrath of a mother who’s prepared to die for her child. “I told someone about Bennett,” she whispers as she plays with the tips of her fingers.
I wasn’t prepared for that. “What do you mean?”
“I told someone at school about him. We were sitting in the cafeteria having lunch, and someone said how Bennett Adams is a dick.” She looks up at me and raises her hands. “That’s their word, not mine.”
“It’s okay,” I say as I find myself strangely calm. “Keep going.”
“She was saying he’s the worst president ever, and I said he’s really nice.”
Fuck. “What happened after that?”
“She asked me how I know, and I said he’s been to our house and that you and him are friends. She said I was lying, and I said I wasn’t. But then after lunch, she started asking me questions about him and you.”
I try to hide my feelings from Emily. It’s not her fault, she’s just a kid who said she’s met Bennett. “What’s that girl’s name?” Emily tells me and I instantly recognize the surname. Her mother is the anchor at a local TV station, and her father is the weatherman at one of the bigger stations.
“It’s because of me, right?” Her chin quivers. “If I didn’t say anything, then we wouldn’t be here, would we?”
I lace my fingers through Emily’s hair and kiss her forehead. “Nope. What’s happened has nothing to do with you.” If Emily thinks she’s responsible for this, it could drown her in guilt. I refuse to allow her to think this happened because of her. “This is all me and Bennett, we’re the people responsible, not you. You’ve done nothing wrong at all.”
“But you told me not to say anything to anyone.”
I shake my head, trying to form a logical and believable sentence for Emily. “The girl you told doesn’t have the power or the influence to hurt us.”
“But...” Emily’s trying to claim responsibility. Although, it probably is because she told that girl at school that this has happened. But I’m taking that information to the grave with me. If I confirmed to Emily this happened because of her, her self-hatred would be just too much for a kid.
“There are no ‘buts’ to this, Emily. You’re not responsible.” I look her dead in the eye and smile warmly.
