Page 13 of Forbidden War (Forbidden 2)
I look down at my feet and then back up at him. “Marco, do you…think you would ever do anything like my family did? Hurt somebody? Someone like Livvie, who did nothing wrong?”
Marco sits back down next to me and I search his eyes, trying to get a sense of this man I married. This man I don’t know well enough by far. This man who could be just as dangerous as the family I ran away from.
He shakes his head. “Never. I never would.”
And…I believe him. I really do.
“Karina.” Marco looks intently at me, and I know he’s about to say something I’m not going to like. “Do you know where your family might be holding Livvie? Any idea at all?”
And there it is. It’s time for me to earn my keep. Bitterness layers on top of the nausea. I feel for Marco and his brothers. I really do. If nothing else, we have shared trauma from the families who raised us. But I literally just explained to him how I would hide away from the day-to-day activities in my family’s home. He didn’t even acknowledge what I had to say. Maybe he doesn’t believe me.
“No,” I say coldly. “If I did, I would have said something already. That’s the truth.”
He stares at me and I see it. The suspicion. He really doesn’t believe me. I might as well be the enemy. They are all going to view me as the enemy, no matter what I do. Because my family has always been bad, doing bad things, criminal things, trafficking in weapons and drugs and intimidation tactics and hurting people, while I spent my days being purposely ignorant, with my nose buried in a book.
“There’s nothing you can tell me? Or is there, but there’s a reason you’re not saying?” he pushes.
I stand and cross my arms over my chest. I could explain myself until I’m blue in the face and Marco still won’t believe a word that I say.
I think about what Candi said earlier. About taking some power for myself.
“I want to help you, Marco. I want to help Livvie. I don’t want any young woman being placed in her situation,” I say. “But I really don’t have any information. I wish I did.”
It hits me, how much I mean what I just said. How much I genuinely want to see Livvie home and safe with her sisters, and recovering from whatever hell she’s in right now. I want that for Frankie, and for this entire family. I’ve made my choice.
I’m going to side with the Bellantis.
I’m going to give a huge middle finger to my family and make sure I do everything that I can to help this family. I know Marco might never love me—and I’m not sure he’ll ever fully trust me, either—but I can be his wife. It just has to be on my own terms. Sharing his bed and feeling his touch will only destroy me, and remind me of how hollow our false union is.
“You wanted my answer,” I go on. “About whether I am going to stay.”
He nods.
There’s a little jump in the center of my chest followed by the urge to stand up tall, square my shoulders. Lift my chin. So I do. I think I might be standing the tallest I ever have. It feels strange, like I’m taking up space and being seen. It’s terrifying, but also…liberating.
“I will. I’ll stay. And I will be loyal to your family. But as far as our marriage is concerned, this is just an arrangement, and we are just cohabitating. I might be living as your wife, but you won’t ever touch my body again. Those are my terms.”
I’m breathing hard, but wow. That felt very satisfying. And it feels very much like the right thing to do.
Marco doesn’t trust me, and he probably has no intention of trusting me. He brought me into this family under false pretenses. And while I feel guilty and somewhat responsible for my former family’s crimes against them, it doesn’t give Marco free access to my body or my heart.
My husband clears his throat and stands. “I understand.”
He looks at me for a moment before leaving the room.
And once again, I’m all alone.
