Page 65 of Because I Need You
I sighed heavily. That was uneventful. Here I thought she was going to open up and the only thing she was doing was shutting down. I couldn’t understand it. Fuck it.
“I’m doing everything you asked me to do,” I said. “Doesn’t that mean you’ll at least let me in that beautiful head of yours?”
“It’s been two days, Giovanni.” She bit her lip and looked away, the blush on her face again.
I’d never been a fan of women blushing. I liked women who owned their shit. I couldn’t think of a woman who owned her shit and blushed. For some reason, the combination was apparently, yet another thing to add to my list of kinks. Right under teacher. Middle school teacher, to be exact.
“Are you going to eat?” she asked, uncrossing her arms and moving out of the kitchen, putting way too much distance between us.
“Did you eat?”
“Yep. Had a bagel with cream cheese and lox.”
“Good.” I set my empty mug in the sink. “I don’t eat in the mornings.”
“Oh.” Her brows pulled.
“I usually wake up at five, work out, shower, have a smoothie while I get ready, and have lunch at the office,” I said.
I was telling her my God damn daily schedule and she couldn’t tell me about her fucking family. Ridiculous. This entire thing. When we reached the elevator, I texted Petra to let her know we were on our way down. She was waiting with Joey and Tony. Probably talking shit about me as I stood here. Probably taking bets on when Isabel would tell me to go to hell and leave me for good. My chest squeezed again. I rubbed it. I shouldn’t have skipped my workout. Now I was liable to have a fucking heart attack. We stepped inside. I pushed the button to the garage, looked straight ahead, trying not to look at her, but she was all I could see in our reflection anyway.
“Don’t you think you’ll be cold in that dress?” I asked finally because I fucking couldn’t not. At least I’d worded it carefully. Something else I’d learned from having two sisters who were constantly PMSing.
“I think I’ll be fine.” I saw the smirk from the corner of my eye.
“Are you doing this on purpose?”
“Doing what on purpose?” She glanced up at me, genuinely confused. “Wearing my favorite dress?”
Ugh. “It’s a beautiful dress.”
“Thanks.” She smiled wide, a beautiful smile that reached her eyes and hit me right in the groin. God damn. She was going to fucking kill me.
28
ISABEL
My dress made me feel confident, but what I wore underneath, even more so. Too bad no one would be seeing it except for me. Somewhere between the kitchen and the car ride over here, I’d decided that I was going to open up to Giovanni. He’d said he was trying, and I believed him. Last night, he’d just nodded his head and gone to bed where I told him to, even though I damn well knew that wasn’t the side of the bed he slept on (my pillow smelled like him). I could tell it was taking everything in him not to touch me and I’d expected to have a full argument about the length of my dress. It was short, but not that short. It was short and flowy enough that I could sit down carefully, without putting on a show, but I definitely couldn’t bend over in it. He made a comment, of course, but I’d expected worse. Then again, Natasha had been naked in some of her modeling shoots.
Maybe he really didn’t care about wardrobe at all. He was also asking personal questions, which, I’d told myself I wouldn’t answer, but I figured I might as well get to know the man I was married to on paper, right? Yes, it was a sham of a marriage, but I wasn’t sure how much longer we’d be stuck together, so I might as well ride it out. I hadn’t decided on the sex thing. Of course, I wanted him, but I was nervous. I’d never told anyone I had sex with what happened to me. I’d seen the way he looked at me when I told him. A part of me was afraid that he’d start having sex with me and then halfway through decide he couldn’t do it. Maybe it was irrational, but I never claimed to be a logical thinker. I tried, but in this case, I couldn’t. There was no logic to trauma. I felt what I felt.
I got out of the car, careful not to flash anyone who may be outside. Giovanni was standing near the door, blocking my view anyway, so it didn’t matter. He hadn’t wanted to ride over here with me. I should’ve been hurt by it, but I was grateful for the distance, grateful for the silence and the time to sort out my feelings. We rode the elevator with Joey, Petra, and Tony. The three of them were strapped and pretty obvious about it, with the way they walked. Petra was the least obvious, but her face told its own story, and it wasn’t one with a happy ending for whoever dared to cross her. Giovanni walked next to me. My heart galloped every time his arm brushed against mine. Tony opened the door to the conference room for us and the three of them stood outside. It seemed like overkill, but whatever. Walking in there again felt different, as if a different person had taken over my body. Maybe it was having Giovanni at my side. Maybe it was my damn dress. Whatever the case, I walked in with my head held high.
