Page 3 of Because I Need You
“What do you mean?” I felt my lip wobble. “There’s more? More secrets?”
Dave nods gravely. I shut my eyes, breathing through tears. I’d never been much of a crier. I had my parents to thank for that. All of the broken promises my mother had made. All of those weekends I’d waited by the window for my father to pick me up and he never showed. Had he been with Vincent? Had he been with his real family? A sob raked through me as I buried my face in my hands. Dave set a hand on my shoulder. He didn’t soothe me, didn’t move it, just set it there, letting me know I wasn’t alone. Except, I was alone.
My mother was long gone, living in Spain with her new husband. I couldn’t even remember the last time we spoke. My grandmother was in a nursing home now, dealing with onset dementia and a body that may not hold her up much longer. I had Luke and Noah, who were the closest thing I had to family, but they had their own lives, and I didn’t want to depend on them for everything. I had Eloise, but she was like a little hummingbird, showing up and disappearing whenever she wanted. I had Will, but he was just a boyfriend. Of less than a year, at that, and he was always busy. All my life I’d told myself I didn’t need anyone. I’d acted like I didn’t need anyone. And now that the world had presented me with this, I wasn’t sure I could handle it alone. I took another deep breath, wiped my face, and told myself to put my game face on and get this over with.
“Let’s continue,” I said. Dave took his hand off my shoulder. I didn’t even look at him to confirm the wariness on his face. When I did, I shot him an expectant look. “We can continue.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, bringing out another marriage license.
“Jesus Christ, how many times did my dad get married?”
“This one is not your father’s,” he said quietly.
My eyes snapped to his, then to the marriage license, which had my name on it. It took me a moment to process that. MY NAME on a marriage license I’d never seen in my life. I was twenty-eight and had never even come close to getting married. What the fuck? I looked at the date. My birthday. My eighteenth birthday, to be exact.
“What the fuck is this?” I held up the paper in question.
“Do you not remember signing it?” he asked.
“Obviously not. I think I’d remember signing a marriage license.” I looked at it again, then raised my voice to say, “I couldn’t even legally drink, for God’s sake.” I waved the paper. “It can’t be real.”
“It’s real.” He looked down at the table, then met my eyes again. “Look. I had many conversations with your father and pleaded with him to tell you about this double-life he’d been living. None of this is fair to you. None of it.”
“And what did he say when you suggested he tell me?” I asked, my voice suddenly quiet, what was left of my heart cracking wide open while I waited.
“He didn’t want to hurt you.”
“He didn’t want to hurt me,” I scoffed, shaking my head, hating the tears that filled my eyes again. “No. He just didn’t want to see my face when he hurt me. He didn’t want to see my face as he wedged the knife between my ribs.” I flicked the tears from my cheeks. “I never knew my father to be a coward.”
“He wasn’t,” Dave said. “But I guess it’s different when your own children are involved.”
“Why would he do this?” I whispered.
“He wanted to protect you. That much I do know.”
“Protect me by forging my signature on a marriage license?” I held it up and shook it again. “Protect me by keeping me his dirty secret and never telling me about his son?”
“I don’t think the paper is forged,” Dave said, “Your father was a smart man. You must have signed it at some point and maybe you didn’t know what you were signing off on.”
I was shaking, so I lowered the paper again. I wanted to rip it, but I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. How could it? This was real in the eyes of the law. He’d met Will. He had lunch with his family for Thanksgiving, for God’s sake! He’d smiled and brought pumpkin pie and sat across from Will’s dad — a fucking judge — all the while he was, what, a conman? A drug dealer? What the hell was he? What did this mean?
“After we discuss his investments, we will come back to this,” he said, his blue eyes holding mine. “I promise.”
I swallowed and kept my left hand on the paper. I’d listen to the rest of this, but I was not letting this go. Over my dead body was I going to stay married to a stranger. I didn’t even know why he’d do that. Why would he marry me off? Like this was the 1800’s and I was payment for cattle or something. What the fuck? Was it an arranged marriage? Was it some kind of ploy to hide other things? Dave continued talking about investments and stocks and I nodded along but couldn’t hear the words coming out of his mouth. My mind was stuck on this paper. Finally, I sighed heavily and interrupted him.
