Page 109 of Because I Need You
“I know you don’t go back on your promises, but I was thinking that maybe we could come to some sort of agreement, since I came to you and not the other way around.” I tapped the tips of my fingers on the desk.
He continued to stare, and I wasn’t sure how to decipher the expression on his face. At first, it was surprise, but now, it was just intense, like he wanted me to hurry up and tell him what I wanted. I just wasn’t sure if he wanted me to get it over with so he could kick me out and tell me this was a bad idea or what. It didn’t matter. Good idea or bad, he’d have to hear me out.
“What kind of agreement?” he asked, voice hoarse.
“For starters, I want the right side of the bed. I know you think that’s your side, but it’s mine,” I said. He pushed a little deeper into his seat, as if he was having a difficult time processing the words coming out of my mouth. I walked around the desk. He turned his chair in my direction and waited. I walked closer, stepping between his legs, noticing the way his chest expanded with a breath. He was nervous. Giovanni Masseria was nervous. I bit my lip to hide my smile, but it was no use. I set both hands on the arms of his chair and leaned in, getting close to his face, but not close enough. “You’re only allowed to make mac-n-cheese once a week. If we make it a nightly thing, well, you may not suffer, as much as you work out, but my thighs can’t afford that.”
I could tell he was having a difficult time keeping his hands to himself, but he did. He licked his lips. “I can make other things.”
“Like what?”
“Like grilled cheese,” he breathed against my face. “I can make a mean peanut butter and jelly.”
At that, I laughed, pulling back slightly. “Peanut butter and jelly? Really, Gio?”
“Isabel,” he said, his voice barely audible, eyes searching mine as if in agony. “You’re not supposed to be here.”
“I thought a wife was supposed to always stand beside her husband.”
“Please, Isabel.” He shut his eyes and swallowed hard.
“I love you, Giovanni. I’m not going to stop loving you. God knows I’ve tried.” I blinked away tears as he opened his eyes and stared at me again. “I know you’re scared. I know you hate yourself for what happened, but I’m fine. I’m not made of glass.”
“You said you weren’t cut out for this life.”
“Are any of us really cut out for life at all?” I asked. “We’re all just treading in the deep end, hoping for a life jacket to drop out of the sky. That’s life, period.”
“You said—”
“I know what I said, and I’m telling you now that none of that matters. I love you. I want to be with you. If that’s still something you’re interested in, let me know. Otherwise, I’ll leave, and you’ll never see me again, but I had to try.” I pushed away from his chair and started to take a step back when he moved forward and wrapped his arms around me, the side of his face on my hip. He shuddered against me once, twice, squeezed me tighter before letting go and pushing his chair back as he stood. I looked up at him.
“If that’s something I’m still interested in?” he asked. “I’ve been interested since you barged into this office the first time.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying. I don’t lie to you. You know that.” He brought both hands up to the sides of my face. “I’m so in love with you that it hurts. It physically hurts to think about you. So in love with you that being without you feels worse than death. On a scale of one to five, it’s a ten.” He swallowed. “I’m so in love with you that I was going to wait one more week before I went for you, because you’re the only person who can push me to break my promises, because I fucking need you more than I need air, more than I need anything. I’ll give all of this up, every single thing, if you tell me to, and I’d be happy to do it.”
“I wouldn’t ask that of you,” I whispered, swallowing as fresh tears formed. “I wouldn’t want to change you. I want you.”
“Fuck, baby,” he growled before setting his mouth on mine. It wasn’t a hard kiss, like I’d expected. It was slow, and gentle, his thumbs grazing against my cheeks, picking up any tear that fell. He pulled away slightly and looked at me. “Tomorrow, we’re going to buy wedding rings.”
“Really?” My brows rose, a laugh escaping my lips.
“We’re already married.” He shrugged. “If you want a wedding, I’ll give you the wedding of the century, but in the meantime, we need rings.”
