Page 101 of Because I Need You
“I take it you know who I am,” she said, her accent much thicker than her brother’s. It reminded me of my grandmother’s.
“The woman who abandoned her kids,” I said, voice hoarse. If I thought my head was throbbing before, it was nothing in comparison to this. My cheek felt like it was broken.
“Ah. Is that how they tell it?” she asked, smiling.
“How should they tell it?”
“Do you want me to give you the rundown?” She crossed her legs. “We have some time.”
I shrugged. If her speaking would buy me time, I’d listen to her recite the fucking dictionary.
“Have you met Giovanni’s father?” she asked, then added, “No, of course not. He hasn’t been here since you came into his life.” She smiled again. “We met in Barranquilla. He was vacationing with his first wife when he met me in a club. I was waitressing then. Well, I was dealing drugs under the table, but I was also waitressing.” She shook her head, still smiling as if she was remembering it. “I wasn’t really interested in dealing drugs. It was something one of my brothers talked me into doing since it would be easier for me to get away with it than him, but I became addicted to it. The rush, the money, not the drugs.” She shot me a pointed look. “Joe went in that night and bought everyone drinks. Bought some people bottles. His wife was sitting there looking horrified, as if she didn’t know who he was anymore.” She rolled her eyes. “Needless to say, we clicked, and he brought me back to New York, and then Chicago.”
“And then you had three kids and abandoned them?” I asked.
“That came later.” She waved a hand. “In the beginning, it was blissful. Not for my brothers, though. They were out for blood. They felt Joe had stolen their prized possession, which, technically, he had.” Her eyes sparkled. “We were so in love. We owned this fucking city. Chicago, too. The moment we stepped foot somewhere, everyone wanted to help us. That’s the thing about this last name, it brings money and status and power.” She grinned. “So much power. Giovanni loves that. He loves the power. He loves the money. Do you?”
“Not really.”
“No, of course not, you’re a teacher,” she spat.
I bit the inside of my cheek. I was used to being treated like my job wasn’t important, as if teaching and nurturing other people’s kids was no big deal. We spent more time with those kids than their own parents, and somehow, we still were underappreciated. Underappreciated and underpaid. It was astounding, considering all the new shit we had to do in order to keep their kids safe in an environment that should already be safe for them. Teachers were no longer “just teachers,” were also babysitters, counselors, guardians, teachers, and bodyguards. And still, we were belittled, underpaid, and underappreciated.
“Giovanni likes the flashy life,” his mother continued. “He likes the cars and the clubs and the revolving door of women. I’m sure you understand why this could never work between the two of you.”
“I’m not discussing my love life with you, and I’m definitely not discussing Giovanni with you. As far as I’m concerned, he has no mother.”
She looked at me for a beat, then laughed. “You’re brave, I’ll give you that. All tied up, at my mercy, and you’re talking back.”
“I’m not, but okay.” I looked at the ground, then at her heels, then at her face again. “You were getting to the part where you abandoned your children.”
“Right. I had the money, the power, the respect. I had everything, but I was still just Joseph Masseria’s wife. That alone should have been enough, of course, but I knew that had I stayed back in Colombia, I would have been the boss. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.”
“So why not stay?”
“Because I fell in love.” She shot me a look. “Keep up.”
I nodded, licking my lips. I still tasted blood in my mouth.
“Joe wanted children, so I gave him children. I demanded nannies, of course. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my children, I did, I do, but I didn’t feel that momma bear thing that other mothers seemed to feel. Maybe I was broken. I had no mother, after all. I was orphaned at a young age, went from home to home, then to the streets. I just needed to survive. My father, the man who took me in, he didn’t show me love, not in the way the movies show it, so let’s just say that was why I didn’t feel that maternal instinct. Do you think that’s fair?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged my left shoulder, hissing as a sharp pain hit me. It hurt like a bitch, and I didn’t know why since I’d been lying on my other side most of the time. “I think it could be that, or you could just be a psychopath.”
