Page 69 of Because I Need You
“Are you riding with me?” I asked, finally.
“I need to see what’s in the big envelope.” He gestured toward the back seat with his chin.
“Oh. Right.” I turned around and grabbed it, opening it as my back was facing him. I took out a folder and opened it. There was a handwritten letter addressed to me. Damn. My hands shook as I read it.
Isabel,
If you’re reading this, please know that I’m sorry. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. The only good thing that ever happened to me. You have to know that. I’m so sorry. I hope one day you’ll forgive me for all of this. Those days at the ballpark, the park, the mall, the museums, those were the days I was allowed to let my guard down and be myself. I was always myself with you. Go to those places while you’re here and remember the good times. Go and think of me. Please don’t look at the rest of this. Find Joe Masseria and give it to him. He’ll take care of you.
Love always,
Your pop-pop
My pop-pop. He had some nerve signing off like that. I swallowed as I folded the letter. I probably would cry about it later. No, I knew for sure I would later, but right now, I was too busy running through the motions. I shut the envelope and followed his instructions. God only knew that the last thing I wanted was to get involved in whatever this was. I wondered if I was really supposed to give it to Joe Masseria or if any Masseria would do. Either way, I knew which one I’d be handing this over to. I turned around and faced Giovanni. He had his bandaged hands in his pockets and was looking at the floor. His hair was messy, as if he’d run his hands through it a million times from the time he’d left his house to now. He sensed my eyes on him and looked up. My heart pumped harder, the way it did every time he looked at me. God, why was this happening? With him of all people?
“He wanted me to give this to your dad.” I held the envelope up.
Giovanni closed the distance between us, my heart gripping tighter with the way he was looking at me. I would’ve killed to reach into his mind and sort through all of his thoughts. I handed him the envelope. Our eyes widened on each other’s as the tips of our fingers brushed in the exchange. He gave a nod and walked to the other car. A nod. Like we were fucking associates. Maybe I had my answer after all. Maybe he didn’t want my secrets or my body. I laughed at myself as I shut the door of the car. I wasn’t even mad at it. Then again, I couldn’t be mad at it right now. I couldn’t feel anything at all.
29
GIO
We had some scattered locations and some keys. Unfortunately, scattered meant really fucking scattered. He had a warehouse here, one in New York, and two in Florida. I couldn’t even be mad at him, though. Two years ago, some of our locations had been robbed and torched, or maybe only torched, it wasn’t like we could recover enough to figure it out. Collector’s items, family heirlooms, you name it, we lost it. We still hadn’t found out who was behind it. At first, we thought it was the Colombians, but they gained nothing by doing that. Their business was entirely separate from everything we did. The Mexican cartels were always a possibility, but why? We sold weapons, not drugs. There was no reason behind it. We had no issues with them either. It couldn’t have been an inside job since we’d all been targeted. Or it could just be a really fucking smart way to throw off the scent so the dogs couldn’t find out. Either way, we were remaining vigilant and trusted no one. Well, no one outside of the ones in this car at this moment.
“You think he was doing business with other people?” Dominic asked.
“He must have been,” I said. “You don’t keep containers in Florida, near a dock, and not get involved with drugs.”
Even though I had no interest in moving drugs, I couldn’t keep them out of my nightclubs. They nodded and continued to sit in silence, probably trying to figure out who he could have been doing business with and why. It wasn’t like he wasn’t making enough money off us. Lorenzo, Dominic, Dean, Tony, and I were on our way to the first warehouse. Dominic and Tony as were talking about wrestlers for the third time during the ride, as Tony drove. Lorenzo and Dean were texting on their phones.
I was looking out the window, my eyes and thoughts on everything and nothing at all. Somehow, my thoughts always ended with Isabel. I exhaled heavily. Fucking Isabel. I didn’t even know of her existence until a few weeks ago and somehow crawled under my skin and decided to get cozy in there. I hated it. I wanted nothing more than to cut myself open and get rid of her. If it were that easy, I would’ve done it already. I’d already had her body and I wanted more. I wanted it again, and I wanted more. I wanted everything. I couldn’t figure out why now or why her? If she asked me that question, I wouldn’t even have an answer for her. What was I supposed to say, “It’s a feeling I have for you”? That sounded like bullshit. It might also be the only answer to that question. Natasha asked me that once, the second time I took her out. She’d turned to me, smiling, and asked, “Why me?” I’d shrugged and said, “Why not?” She’d accepted that and sucked my dick in the car on our way to my apartment as a way to prove how much she liked the answer. It was so simple with her. So, fucking simple.
