Page 125 of Vile Bastards
“Oh, it’s just Prescott High stuff.” Anita waves her hands absently as my grandmother looks me up and down and then moves over to swat me on the ass with a rolled-up magazine. I cringe and offer up a pretty grin as a peace offering. “Don’t mind the language. It’s like … mm.” Anita chews her lip as Alexis scowls and picks up a side table, as if she’s actually trying to help. “Having suitors.”
“Suitors?” My grandmother mutters under her breath, swatting me with the magazine again. “Hurry up. We’re running behind already.”
I salute her.
“Yes, ma’am.” I push the coffee table into the garage, cursing as it gets caught on the steps. I maneuver it into place as Alexis follows with the side table. The Pantera spent all of Tuesday and Wednesday with Basti. We had to call in some favors to get her ready for P-Trip tomorrow.
A surge of excitement lights me up on the inside, but then Alexis smacks the side table into my fuckin’ car, and I’m on edge all over again.
“You are testing my patience,” I hiss at her, abandoning the coffee table so that I can snatch her wrist. She jerks back from me, shoving the side table into a corner, and then stomps into the house.
“Mom stole my twenty-one money, and nobody cares what I think about anything!” She’s screaming again, but hey, as Nisha said: it’s old news. But it’s becoming really, really annoying old news. “I’m just so sick and tired of living in this family.” She sweeps a hand out to indicate … something.
My grandmother looks on with pity as my mom and aunt pop open the long camping table and cover it with a kitschy fall-themed cloth.
“Why don’t you go send another email to NASA?” I tease, even though I know I shouldn’t. “Maybe they’ll respond this time? I bet your theories on climate change and the moon are integral to humanity’s continued survival on this planet.”
Alexis shoves me into the wall, and I let her, laughing. I lift up a hand as she pants and huffs in front of me, and Geneva unfolds a metal chair with distinct annoyance.
“Scarlett, your sister is very ill,” she snaps at me. I ignore my mom and eye Alexis in such a way that she better take it as a threat or else she’s stupid as all get-out. “She needs our help, not our ridicule.”
“Touch me again, and you won’t like the results.” There. Now that is a warning. Alexis turns away and storms off, and I flip her back off with my upside-down cross finger. “Fuckin’ cunt.”
“Scarlett Diana Force.” Geneva is glaring daggers at me, but I ignore her.
I’d almost forgotten that my middle name was Diana; I’d started believing that it was Motherfucking.
The doorbell rings, and I swallow a lump, looking down at my oversized baggy gray sweater with the words Low-Key Goth on the front. I’m not really goth at all, but … low-key goth maybe. Because I do like Bohnes, and he’s an Edgar Allan Poe poem in real time.
“It’s one of your … fuckboys,” Anita whispers, giggling like a little girl. “Do you want to run upstairs to freshen up?”
I cock a perfectly manicured brow at her. My entire aesthetic is based around the motto take no time. I want to be able to go from homeless deshabille to hot girl vibes in ten minutes or less. My brows are done. My nails are done. My lashes are fly. As Princess Nokia might say, face clean, no effort.
“Open it.” I can only imagine which one of them might be early.
Anita obliges, revealing Alexei in his Copyright 2004 Hot Topic best.
I grin as Anita steps aside to welcome him in.
“Pardon the mask.” It’s the first thing he says, because he’s just that sorta special. “I’m suffering a head cold.” Anita nods like she cares, peering into his hood. He pushes it off to reveal a sea of glimmering blond hair, that princely brow unmistakable even with the mask covering the lower half of his face. “Alex Marie Jennings.” He extends a hand, and I see that it’s killing him to not only lie, but also to present himself in a less than pristine manner. “Feel free to call me … Marie.”
I can’t see it, but I swear to fuck, his lips twitch.
Alexis appears as if she’s been summoned, standing strangely in the back door and staring. I’d figured she might recognize Alexei, but I’ll never admit it, no matter how much she whines and begs and scrapes. Jesus, the look on her face … she gonna try for a case of sexual assault today?
“Marie.” She says the name, eyes glittering. I give her another look which she ignores. But if she thinks I’ll allow her to touch my property, she’s got another thing—oh, I’m sorry, eggcorn, it’s another thiiiiink—coming. I see now why Bohnes chopped off that guy’s fingers during the speakeasy party. “Nice to meet you.” Alexis smiles coquettishly, and I sigh. “I’m Alexis Rose Force.”
