Page 141 of Vile Bastards
I can do the same damn thing.
“Can I get a ride home?” Emma calls out cheerily, waving her hand from the front porch, and Alexei cringes. “You did take my car and force me to use a cab, but that’s okay. We can discuss your family history on the ride back.”
“Next time you want to fuck me, bring those panties or piss off and remember the time you had the tip in and chose to walk away.” I take off for the front door, leaving Alexei Grove to his fate. He earned it, after all.
“Pumpkin pie, sweetie?” my grandma asks when I come inside, and then she hands over the plate without a word, her eyes searching my face. I manage to return her worried expression with a smile, and a kiss to her weathered cheek.
“Thank you, Gram. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” I leave her where she is, but I know that she can tell I’m upset. As Bohnes said, it’s okay to cry, isn’t it?
I head up to my room, pull Lem’s sleeping bag from the closet, and wrap it around my shoulders while I eat. If a tear or two falls, so what? Grief is an endless chasm. As time passes, you can learn to skirt around it, but it’s always there. It never truly lessens, never truly dissipates. It can only be tolerated.
After all, everything has a price.
Grief is the price for love and, much as I might deny it, I know full well what a goddamn good deal it really is.
Scarlett
This is your big moment, Scar, I think, hands curled around the Devil’s steering wheel. I stare out the window at the frost-tipped grass, tapping my fingers absently as CHANMINA’s ‘Doctor’ blasts on my cranked-up system. I’m telling ya, the KMZI DJs are masters of finding the next best thing in music. They always know who’s gonna make it big. Always.
The halfway house where Widow lives—I’m sorry, the men’s rehabilitation center—is a creaky, old house that’d probably be cool if it weren’t falling apart and used to house former inmates. From here, it looks impossibly sad, and I feel a huge surge of gratefulness for my family. As annoying as they can be—my mom and Alexis especially—I’m glad I didn’t have to grow up the way Widow did.
I’m almost softening toward him when I bump the metal ring against my other finger and remember the tough spot he put me in at the track. What a dipshit.
At the very least, he’s an attractive dipshit.
As soon as he steps out the front door, my eyes lock on him. It’d be impossible to look anywhere else. Objectively speaking, he’s a gorgeous man. I force myself to put aside thoughts of his aunt, Trish Edelman. That’s a subject for another day. For now, I’m just going to bask in the way in his t-shirt clings to his sculpted midsection.
“One more month,” he grits out between his teeth, sliding into the passenger seat of the Pantera and narrowing his eyes on the place. He looks like a werewolf when he does that, swear to God. “I’d rather be homeless than live in this shithole.”
He buckles his seat belt, crossing his arms and leaning back in the seat. As soon as he hears the song—which is mostly in Japanese—he gives me a look.
“I didn’t pick this,” I promise, because I didn’t. But of course, it’s making me think about Ash anyway. “It’s the radio, Widow.”
He leans in toward me as I put the car in reverse and squeal out of the gravel parking lot, kicking up clouds of dust.
“We should move in together when I get out,” he murmurs, but I ignore him.
“Don’t piss me off today. This is my chance at a big break, Widow. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment.” I glance in the rearview, just to make sure that Nisha and Basti are behind me, both of them in Nisha’s car. Bohnes is behind them, but that’s it. My girls dropped by the house this morning with a huge basket of stolen goodies—everything from fresh bread to condoms to a designer purse—to wish me well, but they can’t come.
I’m technically only allowed to bring a single guest, but I figure I’ll punch in the gate code, and eh. They can try kicking Bohnes off the property. Anyway, I don’t intend to rise to the top by myself. Hell no. I’ll be taking my girls with me all the way. Whatever I need in the future, from a housekeeper to a manager to a mechanic, I’ll hire from my crew first.
“Is the one and only Scarlett Force nervous?” Widow asks me, his voice a mocking come-on. “Color me surprised.”
“Remind me why I agreed to let you ride with me?” I retort, feeling my skin heat with anger. Actually, this is exactly why I let Widow come with me in the first place. Because I knew he’d get me riled up, and I drive better when I’m annoyed.
