Page 140 of Vile Bastards
Ash and I stare at each other, and he reaches out with gentle fingers, sweeping hair back from my face.
“What does urusai mean?” I inquire, and he smiles at me.
“Noisy. Or, really, in that context, it means shut the fuck up.” Ash steps even closer to me, taking me into his arms and staring down at my face. Somehow, someway, I don’t like the way he’s studying me. There’s a lack of permanence in his expression, as if he believes we might not make it through this. Rather, that he might not make it through this. “You are the only person besides my mother who ever truly cared about Ash Kelly.” He strokes the side of my face with his knuckles, and I frown at him, reaching up with the hand that’s not holding the bug detector to stop him.
“I’m glad you came. Surprised, but glad. Now I’m starting to wonder if you don’t have ulterior motives. What’s going on with you?”
Ash sighs and pulls away from me, heading out into the cool November air and pausing with his head tilted back, eyes toward the sky. It’s getting dark, and the moon is visible in the distance, obscured only slightly by a giant crane that probably belongs to one of Archer Realty’s (trademarked, all rights reserved, copyright for eternity) developments.
“Kelly Kitagawa, don’t you dare walk away from me.” I pause beside him and wish he really had just chucked me over my Pantera and fucked me in plain sight. Then again, I don’t need to add yet another swat from a rolled-up magazine to my roster. “You’re acting weird as fuck.”
“I am weird as fuck, Scarlett-chan.” He drops his chin and glances my way, and at the very least, some of his disturbing melancholy is gone, replaced with stark determination. “I will prove myself to you; I will earn that title of fiancé. Mark my words.” Ash studies Alexei who just so happens to be on my front stoop, pouring hand sanitizer over the treads of his high-top Chucks. Hmm. “I cannot for the life of me understand your attraction to him.”
“He told my grandmother that her sweet potatoes were the best he’d ever had in his entire life.” I shrug my shoulders and reach up to scratch at the back of my head in thought. “Listen, Kelly. I shouldn’t have asked you to come here; it was selfish of me.”
His lips twitch just before he reaches down and pulls up his mask, a necessary evil but one that makes me desperately sad. Having fuckboys is supposed to be fun. This all feels … like something else. It’s not fun. It’s frustrating and heart-wrenching and terrifying.
Because I’m invested.
Because against my better judgement, not a one of these assholes is a fuckboy any longer.
“You asked, but I should’ve stayed firm and told you no. We have to stop seeing each other, at least for a little while.” He stares across the street, dark eyes glittering. “Although I truly appreciate your desperate desire for my dick.”
“We haven’t had sex in like, fucking millennia.” I offer him up a disparaging once-over. Tomorrow, I’ve got P-Trip. Also, Bohnes and Widow have just carted off my neighbors to question them about their secret surveillance and Lemon’s sleeping bag. On top of all that, Chet Archer wants me and Emma Jean dead as much as he wants to steal my grandmother’s house out from under her. Life is dark right now; it’s screwed-up. But at least right here, in this single moment, I can pretend we’re just teenagers with a desperate, aching need for one another. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”
“It’ll be a while, surely.” Ash turns to look at me, eyes blazing, and I feel my heart lodge in my throat. He’s not allowed to be that pretty, to have his razored hair fall across his forehead, to look at me like he’d kill the world to keep me safe. Not allowed. No. Bad fuckboy. “Unless, of course, you keep stalking me.”
“It’s you who’s stalking me,” I assure him, and he smiles, reaching out to cup the side of my face before he turns and takes off down the sidewalk. I watch him go, heart heavy, hand on my chest, and look away only when Ash turns the corner and Alexei moves up to stand beside me.
“I need you to win tomorrow. Can you do that for me?” he asks, and I nod.
Because regardless of whatever else is going on in my life, I know my worth on the track. I know that I have a future on four wheels, that someday I’ll get out of this mess and make something of myself.
“You think I’mma let some rich boys smoke my ass?” I glance over to find Alexei studying me curiously, but I don’t reach out for him. These boys want to play hard to get? Fine.
