Page 107 of Fake It For Love (Faux Love)
“Ryan, don’t be that way,” she said. “I care about you.”
“Good to know,” I said. “Goodnight.”
“Ryan!”
“I’m not mad,” I said as I walked away.
I didn’t bother looking back. I was halfway up the path when I realized I didn’t have my damn shoes. I didn’t give a shit. I’d buy new shoes. I made my way to my room, leaving a sandy trail of footprints behind me.
I tugged off my tie and tossed it on the floor. I rid myself of the rest of my clothes and walked straight into the shower. I felt like I needed to wash her away. I could feel her clinging to me.
She wanted a clean break. I wasn’t going to ask her to change her mind.
She had already kicked me in the teeth tonight. I needed to preserve what dignity I had left. After my shower, I flopped naked into bed. I replayed the events of the day. Nothing had hinted at the way this night had ended. She’d been playful and flirty. Last night we talked about our future. We talked about her teaching job and when she needed to start preparing for the coming year.
I told her I had a meeting in Australia at the end of the month. That had to have been the moment she decided it was over. It was one fucking trip. I was planning to ask her to come with me.
Yes, I traveled a lot, but I could set my own schedule. I traveled because there was nothing to hold me in one place. But she never gave me the chance to explain any of that. She quit before we ever got started.
This was why I was single. This kind of bullshit was why people chose to sleep around. I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. This whole ordeal started as an arrangement. She was desperate for money and I was desperate not to embarrass myself. I guessed we both got what we wanted. I just wasn’t counting on the shattered heart bonus.
It was a lesson learned. I would do a much better job guarding my heart in the future. To think I thought she was my protector. Like a damn fox guarding the henhouse. I let her in. The first woman besides Norah back in the eighth grade. It was kind of fitting the only two women I cared about were best friends.
