Page 82 of Fake It For Love (Faux Love)
“Stay with me tonight,” he said.
“It’s almost four o’clock,” I reminded him. “The night is over.”
“Fine, stay with me this morning.”
“I would love to,” I said against his chest.
“But we need to get under the blankets. I’ve got a chill I can’t shake. I was fine when I was inside you, but without your warmth, I’m cold.”
A shudder ran down my spine once again. Inside me. He had been inside me. I just had sex with Ryan Jones. I had a feeling that was going to take some time to get used to. He got out of bed and walked into the bathroom while I pulled the blankets back. I fluffed the pillows and climbed into the large bed. He came back into the room and climbed in beside me. I wasn’t sure where he stood on cuddling. I didn’t want to pressure him into anything.
It was he who pulled me against him. “Come here,” he growled.
I was smiling as I snuggled against his chest. “Warmer?”
“Keep close to me and I will be.”
I pressed my hand against his broad chest. I was trying to infuse him with my own warmth. “I’m so glad you’re here,” I said. “I hated the way we parted ways yesterday. I can’t tell you how badly I regretted that whole scene. I’m sorry. I had no right to get pissy with you.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” he said. “I totally bungled the delivery. It was nothing personal against you. I needed to tell them in person. I’m a grown man, but they still have a way of giving me that sense of panic about being in trouble.”
“You didn’t owe me an explanation,” I said. “I don’t know why, but I’m always taking my shit out on you. I owe you an apology for that night as well.”
“What night?”
“Prom,” I said. “You know what I’m talking about. You’ve been very gracious and act like you don’t remember, but I know you do. There’s no way you couldn’t. I’m sorry I lost my shit back then. You were the one person in the whole world that showed me kindness. You were there and literally let me cry on your shoulder. No one else cared that I was destroyed. Granted, it was teenage girl trauma, but you made it feel like it mattered. You were so nice, and I just unloaded on you. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. That was a long time ago.”
“I do need to apologize,” I said. “My behavior was horrible. You did not deserve that. You didn’t deserve a lot of the shit I dished out back then. I guess it was my own insecurities.”
“We were both dishing shit out,” he said.
“But I was mean,” I said. “That night changed me. It helped. All I needed was a little understanding. You gave that to me.”
“I’m glad I could be there for you,” he said. “I take it things worked out?”
I snorted. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I’m a hired escort, so not sure how well it worked out, but I’m doing okay. I guess I owe you another thank you for that.”
“What are you thanking me for?” he asked.
“This arrangement,” I said. “Although it suddenly feels like I might have crossed a line. Just know the sex was me, the real me, not the escort you hired.”
He laughed and kissed the top of my head. “Yeah, I don’t think me paying for sex sits right with me either.”
“Good. In this bed, we are not on a contract.”
“Works for me,” he said. “Can I ask you a really personal question? If you don’t want to answer, don’t. Just tell me to shut up.”
“I’m naked in bed beside you,” I said. “That’s pretty personal.”
“You know sex and getting personal are very different,” he replied.
“You want to know about my dad,” I said.
“No. I want to know about you. What brought you to Faux’s?”
I wasn’t really ashamed of it. “I was raised with money readily available,” I said. “I never really thought about what something cost or how it was going to be paid for. I wanted or needed something, and it appeared. I had my own credit card to use to buy gas for my car or a new outfit whenever I felt like it. My parents didn’t really question my spending. I don’t think I was completely frivolous, but I never really learned how to be frugal. When all the stuff with my dad went sideways, I was determined to go to college. I took out loans and whenever one of those credit card offers came in the mail, I took it. The first two years of school I lived like I was still the old me. I kept thinking I was going to be out of school soon and I would get a great job. While I knew how much teachers got paid, I don’t think I fully understood how little it was and how far it didn’t go.”
