Page 111 of Fake It For Love (Faux Love)
The check made me want to puke. I couldn’t possibly keep the money. It felt tainted.
It was over. Last night when I told him we couldn’t try and keep this thing up, I kind of expected him to put up a fight. I knew it wasn’t going to work, but I was hoping he would at least try and convince me we could make a long-distance relationship work.
This was the exact feeling I wanted to avoid. This soul-crushing devastation that left me feeling like an empty shell. I thought by ending things with him, it would lessen the pain of a breakup down the road. I should have known it would hurt either way. I should have kept my mouth shut and enjoyed one last week with him. Pain now or pain later was still pain.
I wanted to talk to Norah. She would tell me everything would be okay. She’d assure me I was going to find another man as good as Ryan. And like the good best friend she was, she would tell me how horrible he was and I could do better.
We would both know that was a lie.
There wasn’t anyone like Ryan and there sure as hell would never be anyone as good as he was. He was the first and only man that had made me feel secure in who I was. He didn’t care about my body or my family’s reputation.
I pulled the ring from my pocket and left it on the dresser. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it, but I wasn’t going to wear the damn thing.
