Page 106 of Fake It For Love (Faux Love)
She looked at me, and once again, I saw sadness. “I don’t want my heart broken,” she said. “I would rather face the truth now than drag this thing out and make it worse when it ends.”
I couldn’t even think of what to say. I felt like I’d been sideswiped. All day we’d been great. She’d been happy and bubbly. Hell, we had sex and she never mentioned she was dumping me. I felt like it would have been nice to give me a hint she was going to drop a bomb on me.
“You’re serious?” I asked.
Part of me hoped she would tell me she was joking. The look on her face told me it was all very real. “Ryan, you know I’m right. I think we got caught up in the moment. We’ve been on this speeding train. We didn’t stop to think about what it meant.”
“Why wait to tell me until just now?” I asked. “Why not give me a heads-up this was over for you? What the hell was tonight all about? That bullshit under the table? Does that get you off to know you did that to me?”
“No!” She shook her head. “Definitely not. Don’t make this into something dirty.”
“I have no idea what the hell this is,” I said. “Where did this come from?”
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” she said quietly. “I didn’t want to, but you know what it’s like. You’re a planner. I just can’t stop thinking about the end.”
“Gee, you could have fooled me,” I said. “You never told me you were thinking about it. This was a total blindside. You have had more than one opportunity to bring it up.”
“I didn’t plan it,” she said. “It’s just, we were dancing, and my mind was swirling. I realized that this paradise bubble is a fantasy. Fantasies don’t come true. I caught a glimpse of the end. I don’t want to be left devastated. It’s going to happen. I think it’s better to get it over with. I’m a rip the band-aid quick kind of person. I don’t want to prolong the pain and suffering.”
I slowly nodded as her words sank in. It was all becoming clear. “Okay,” I said. A weird calmness settled over me. It was a familiar blanket of disappointment.
“What?” She cocked her head to the side. “Okay, what?”
“Okay,” I said. “You’ve decided. I clearly don’t factor into this. I misread what was happening. I get it. I’m good with it.”
“It makes sense,” she said. “You know it does. I didn’t want to believe it, but you know it’s true. We live very different lifestyles.”
“Sure, yep,” I said and took a step back. “I don’t think I need to be here anymore. I’m going to bed.”
I turned and walked away. I was going the long way around. I didn’t want to go through that crowd. The last thing I wanted was to face any of them. I just needed to get the hell away from her.
“Ryan, wait,” she said. She reached out and grabbed my arm.
I jerked it out of her touch. “What?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she said. “I don’t want us to be hurt down the road. This isn’t about us. I know we have something, but it’s been very easy to be together. We don’t have any outside influences. We’ve been in this little bubble. This isn’t real life.”
“Fine,” I said.
“Please don’t be mad at me,” she said. “I just—”
“Stop, Claire,” I said and held up a hand. “I get it. You had fun. We both did. Now it’s over. I was wrong to think this went beyond the island. I guess I can’t be mad. We both had fun. Got laid a few dozen times. You get to go home a hundred grand richer.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Don’t you dare make this about the money,” she said. “This has nothing to do with the money. I am just trying to be practical. Be honest, you know your lifestyle is not suitable to a relationship. You even told me that.”
“Whatever.”
“Don’t walk away mad,” she said. “The last time we parted like this, it was horrible.”
“I’m going to my room,” I said. “I’ll walk away any damn way I want to.”
“Ryan, this was a beautiful couple of weeks,” she said. “Don’t sour it by ending it on bad terms.”
“It’s not bad terms,” I said. “You don’t want this. I’m sure as hell not going to beg you. You’ve made up your mind. I’ll respect your wishes. But I hope you’ll understand I’d rather you not come to my room tonight.”
I thought I saw tears in her eyes. Those tears were there because of her. It wasn’t me. She made this decision on her own. She sure as hell didn’t care what I had to say. “I want us to at least be friends,” she said.
“Really? You think that’s going to work? I mean, like you said, I travel a lot. You work a lot. How could we possibly be friends?”
