Page 50 of The Birthday List (Maysen Jar 1)

My heart flutters were supposed to be for Jamie.

Guilt. Guilt was a heavy beast. It settled like a dead weight in my chest. I took a step away from Cole, retreating as far away from him as possible on the narrow path, in an attempt to lessen guilt’s load.

Cole sensed it—the line I drew between us—and he stayed on his side of the trail.

We walked for a while, quiet again, watching as others enjoyed the summer day. Dogs were playing in the grass, chasing balls and each other. Kids were climbing all over the jungle gym as moms watched from nearby. A young couple cuddled on a large blanket, the woman reading as the man napped.

“Tell me about Jamie,” Cole said, taking my attention from people watching.

“You want to know about Jamie?”

“Yeah. What was he like? He was a teacher, right?”

I nodded. “Seventh grade English and social studies. I could never do that job, but he loved it. Kids that age were his favorite. Older than kindergarteners, not quite asshole teenagers.”

Cole chuckled. “I do better with the asshole teenagers.”

I smiled. “And I do better with the kindergarteners.”

“What else?”

I thought about it for a minute, sorting through all of the wonderful things I could say about Jamie. “He was a joker. He loved making others laugh—probably why he was so good with preteens. He didn’t care if he made a dork of himself. What you saw with Jamie was what you got.”

Kind of like Cole. He didn’t try to mask his feelings. He didn’t pretend to be anything other than who he was.

“He loved teasing me.” It was one of the ways Jamie showed people that he loved them. I missed the teasing.

Except for Cole, no one had really poked fun at me since Jamie had died. Everyone around me walked on eggshells. Molly would jest at times, but even then, she was always cautious. So was Finn.

But Cole, he just treated me like me. Not a broken Poppy. Or a sad Poppy. Just me.

And I could tease him right back.

“So, what’s the future look like for you, Detective Goodman? Chief of police? Mayor? The White House?”

Cole chuckled. “No, I’m happy just being a cop. Though my dad has bigger plans.”

“Oh? What does he want?”

“He wants me to follow in his footsteps, to be the next chief when he retires.” He blew out a loud breath. “But I hate politics. I hate committees and all the meetings. I like being in the field and working cases.”

“I can see that. I bet you’d suffocate if you were stuck inside all day, wearing a suit and tie.”

He looked down at me and smiled, his dimples showing again. “Poppy Maysen, I think you’ve figured me out.”

My heart thumped a bit harder. “Not quite.”

“Give it time.”

I’d try. Minute by minute.

“Any questions?”

Matt closed the task force file I’d just laid on his desk. “No. This is all pretty straightforward. I’ll get to work on this right now.”

“Thanks. I really appreciate you digging right in.”

He grinned. “Just glad to be a part of the task force.”