Page 51 of The Candle Palace (Jamison Valley 6)
I was about to lose my job. Sure, things would have been better if Milo and I had just remained friends until his release from the hospital. But there was no use regretting the past.
We live with the choices we make.
Dad had told me that from his own hospital bed three days before he’d died.
I’d been upset and crying, wishing I had made him quit smoking. He’d refused to let me shoulder the blame.
You didn’t light them for me, Sara. This is on me.
We live with the choices we make.
We died with them too.
Amber gestured me into the room and we sat around the same table we had when she’d told me to stay away from Milo’s room. But this time, my hands didn’t shake. My heart wasn’t racing. I wasn’t nervous.
I was numb.
She leaned her elbows on the table, lacing her fingers together. Amber was probably only ten years older than I was, but her commanding presence made it seem like more. She managed a lot of nurses, and from the day I’d met her, I’d known she wasn’t one to beat around the bush. In her black blazers and with her hair always pinned up in a bun, she had a pleasant face when she smiled. But more often than not, she looked like this: serious. Older than a woman in her early thirties.
“You spent the night with a patient,” she said.
“I came to visit Milo. We were watching TV and fell asleep.”
“I thought we’d agreed you were going to stay away from him until he was no longer a patient.”
I nodded. This was probably the time to start defending myself but I stayed quiet.
Amber let out a long breath. “I talked to Dr. Vernon first thing this morning. Milo is on track to be discharged in a week. I think the best thing is to shuffle the schedule and give you some time off. Take the next week with vacation time, then come back when he’s no longer a patient.”
I blinked at her, waiting for more, but she remained quiet. “Wait. You’re not firing me?”
“No.” She gave me an exasperated smile. “You’re not fired. Yet. But this is a warning. I will have to make a note of this in your employee file. It’s against policy to have a romantic relationship with a patient. Now, you could argue there is nothing romantic happening. This is a friendship. No one has seen you engage in a kiss, for example. But . . .”
We both knew that would be a lie. “I understand.”
“Please don’t make me regret this decision.”
“I won’t.”
Amber tapped the table twice, like a judge rapping his gavel to dismiss court. Then she stood and left me reeling in the lounge.
I wasn’t fired.
An official black mark would go into my file, but I wasn’t fired. So why didn’t I feel more relieved? I’d been so prepared to start a job hunt. A blemish on my perfect employment record almost seemed worse than being terminated, like a scarlet letter sewed into my scrub top.
Would everyone know? Would I be watched more closely now?
I’d never once gotten detention as a kid. I’d never been sent to the principal’s office. I’d never gotten a grade below a B+. This warning should have bothered me more. But as I let it sink in, as I weighed it versus having Milo in my life, I’d take the black mark on my record every time.
Was it worth it?
Yes.
I wasn’t sorry.
And I couldn’t wait to tell Milo.
He’d called me five times last night and I’d ignored them all, only lis
