Page 88 of The Bitterroot Inn (Jamison Valley 5)
I can do this. I have to do this.
Inside the hospital was my dad. I needed to be there for him. For my mom. For my brothers. I had to go inside a building that held all of my most feared memories.
My fingers fumbled with the car handle but I managed to get a grip and push the door open with my foot. The moment my tennis shoes hit the pavement, my knees weakened. Using the side of my car for balance, I shut the door and took one step. Then another.
I can do this.
Hunter came around the side of the car and held out his hand. “I’m with you the whole time.”
I nodded and placed my hand in his. With every step across the asphalt, my feet got heavier. What little strength I had was used to just keep myself standing because the fear of crossing through the sliding-glass ER doors in front of me was dizzying.
“You can do this, baby.”
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. One step at a time. Do this for your dad.”
I could do this for Dad. “Okay,” I whispered.
Crossing the parking lot was slow but we finally made it. When we hit the censor above the sliding doors and they slid open, the smell of the hospital hit me in the face and my stomach rolled. Five years since I’d been here, but I could still remember the smell. I could shut my eyes and pretend I was someplace else, but the smell wouldn’t go away.
“Hunter,” I pleaded. My feet were stuck again.
“One step,” he said. “Just take one more step.”
I clutched his hand tight and picked up my right foot.
“Good. One more.”
My steps were barely a shuffle but he had managed to get me past the doors.
“Think about the good things you had here. Only the good things.”
I nodded. Good things.
My eyes darted around the ER lobby. Ahead of me was the counter where I’d met Gigi on her first day of work. I’d been gossiping about Everett—about how handsome I’d thought he was and how I’d had such a crush on the new doctor. Young and stupid Maisy. I hadn’t seen past his handsome to the crazy beneath.
My feet stopped again.
“Tell me a good thing.”
I swallowed hard and looked up into Hunter’s worried eyes. He knew I was about three seconds away from a full-fledged panic attack. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and run away, but as if he could sense me wanting to flee, he tugged his hand free of mine to wrap his arm around my shoulders.
“Tell me a good thing,” he repeated.
I leaned into his side, using him as my anchor as we took another step. “I met Gigi right there.” I pointed toward the ER counter.
“Good. Tell me something else.”
“I opened my first real paycheck in this spot.” I pointed to the floor.
I’d been standing in the middle of the ER lobby, giddy that I’d just finished my first two weeks of work as a nurse. Without my direct deposit set up yet, they’d given me an actual check. I’d never been more excited to open an envelope.
“You’re doing great,” Hunter said, taking care to shorten his stride so I wouldn’t feel rushed. “Keep them coming. More good things.”
“My cousin had a baby here when I was in high school and I got to come see them.”
“Boy or girl?” he asked as he steered me toward the waiting room.
