Page 103 of The Outpost (Jamison Valley 4)
“Have you talked to Beau since you’ve been back?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No, I don’t even have his phone number. I could get it from Felicity but neither of us ever brings him up. She knows it’s a sad subject and I can’t bring myself to ask how he’s doing.” I wanted him to be happy but I was terrified he’d found someone new. For now, I was clinging to ignorance as I kept trying to put the pieces of my heart back together.
Bryce shook her head and worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “I’m so sorry things didn’t work out between you two.”
You and me both. I reached out and patted her hand, grateful for her sympathy. “It’s done now and probably for the best.” I’d been repeating that mantra every day since I’d left Prescott. Time would heal my heart, or at least dull the pain.
I hope.
The waiter came over and Bryce and I ordered another glass of wine, the interruption a good segue to a different subject.
“Have you done much writing since you’ve been back?”
“No,” I sighed. “I polished the three books I wrote at the outpost and had those published but I haven’t written anything new.” Between the insanity of being back and my complete lack of motivation, I had all but abandoned the novel I had started my last week at the outpost. My computer hadn’t been opened in a month because I just couldn’t bring myself to write.
“I’m scared of my laptop,” I admitted. “I feel like when my fingers hit the keyboard, it will rip open fresh wounds.”
“Maybe you just need time. Will you go back to the newspaper?”
Bryce had asked me the same question during our interview earlier but I’d dodged it with a vague answer.
I felt guilty for quitting a job in which I’d won a prestigious award. I felt guilty quitting a job so many would covet. I felt guilty for quitting a job that had once been my life’s aspiration. But my heart wasn’t in journalism anymore, and I couldn’t stay just to appease the guilt.
So this time, I answered Bryce’s question with the truth. “No. That chapter of my life is over. Effective this morning, I am no longer Sabrina MacKenzie, investigative reporter for The Seattle Times.”
My boss had been begging me to return to work, offering me promotions and pay raises, but this morning I had emailed him my official resignation. He’d hired someone to replace me months ago, but when I’d come back to Seattle, he had been so overjoyed that he’d pulled every string he could to put me on paid sabbatical.
I was extremely grateful for his loyalty but I wasn’t the reporter he needed on staff. Not anymore.
“I can see why you’d need a change,” Bryce said.
“You might be the only one. Well, you and my parents. They are thrilled with my decision to change careers.” When I’d called to tell them the news this morning, my dad had cheered and my mom had started crying. They were thrilled I was quitting the job that had put my life in danger.
The six months I’d spent in hiding had been horrible for my parents. My dad had gotten another ulcer and my mom had worn a path in their new carpet from pacing. After I’d gotten back to the city and arranged for my life to be turned back on, I’d spent three weeks in Florida, then gone back again for the holidays. It had been the best time I’d spent with my family in decades and we’d found a new closeness.
My brothers both texted me daily and I talked to my parents at least four times a week. They were planning on visiting Seattle this summer and I had already booked a vacation to go home in the fall.
Our new-formed bond was the one amazing thing to come out of this entire Federov disaster. That and my brief time with Beau. Even though I was in pain, I’d never regret being with him.
Bryce and I chatted for a little while longer about her job and some of the interviews she’d done lately. Then, after we’d finished our drinks, we exchanged phone numbers. Selfishly, I hoped she’d stay in Seattle and not move home to Montana. She’d be a great friend.
“Whether you stay with television or move to Clifton Forge’s paper, you will be incredibly successful.” I shook her hand good-bye. “You are one easy person to talk to, Bryce Ryan.”
She blushed and her face broke into a wide, white smile. “Coming from you, that’s the best compliment I may have ever gotten.”
I waved as she pushed through the door and disappeared into the crowd on the sidewalk.
“Ready?” I asked Henry.
“You bet.” He smiled and led me outside, escorting me home.
Henry was the reason I even had a home. While I’d been in Montana, he had arranged for my bills to be paused and my rent to be paid. He’d gone above the normal call of duty and I’d always be grateful.
“Did you have a nice time?” he asked.
“I did. It was nice to make a new friend.”
“Good.”
