Page 113 of The Outpost (Jamison Valley 4)
I was free of Anton.
And Beau could be free of me. Of my hassle.
A decision cemented itself firmly in my head. It was going to destroy me, but I had to send Beau home.
Beau would always be rescuing someone or something; it just wouldn’t be me anymore. I had to release him from my burdens. All I had to give him for his troubles was my heart but he would have it all until the day I died.
I stepped into his space and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my ear against his heart. I couldn’t say what I needed to say if I was looking into his eyes.
He’d see right through my lies.
“I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, and I can’t tell you how much it meant that you came here the other night and stayed with me yesterday. I don’t know what I would have done without you, but I can’t keep interrupting your life. You should go home. I’ll be okay.”
I would be miserable, but if he knew the truth, he’d stay. And the longer we stayed together, the harder it would be on both of us in the end.
His arms came to my shoulders and pushed me back. “Say that again? You want me to go?”
No. “I want you to be free.”
His face softened. “Sabrina, I—”
“Please,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I can’t, Beau. I can’t drag this out. It will hurt too much and nothing has changed. I belong here. You belong there.”
His shoulders fell and his hands dropped to his sides. “That’s what you want?”
“Yes.”
It was the worst lie I’d ever told.
He stared at me for a few moments but I kept my eyes locked firmly to his chest. Finally, he whispered, “Okay.”
“Will you do something for me before you go? One last thing?”
“Your wish, Shortcake.”
This hurt. God, this fucking hurt.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and locked my eyes with his. “I hated how everything ended in Prescott. This time, I want a real good-bye.”
Beau didn’t need any explanation. His mouth crashed down on mine, urgent and hungry, as we both poured our hearts into the kiss. He wasted no time, hoisting me up and carrying me to my bedroom, where he laid me down gently on the bed and stripped off my clothes. When he’d done the same with his, he came down on top of me, careful not to crush me under his heavy weight.
He started kissing my neck, traveling slowly to my breasts but stopped abruptly and pulled away.
“Fuck,” he hissed.
“What?”
“I don’t have a condom.”
“I’m back on birth control. There hasn’t been anyone since you.” I braced, hoping that he could say the same.
“Me either.”
What a relief.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
I nodded. “I want you, Beau. Just you.”
