Page 112 of The Lucky Heart (Jamison Valley 3)
“What?” Jess asked, looking up from his cards with concern.
I shot Pax a scowl. He hid behind his cards, but I saw the corner of his lip twitch. Dickhead.
“It’s nothing,” I lied.
Now that I’d had a chance to cool off, I realized just how right she was. I’d exploded over something minor because I’d been keeping too much bottled inside. Part of it was Dad. Part of it was stress. Most of it was trying to come to grips with the fact that I wanted to tell Felicity I loved her but I was afraid she wouldn’t say it back.
I was afraid she’d tell me she’d only ever love Wes.
And I’d let this stupid incident today push me over the edge and I’d hurt her.
Fuck.
“Daddy, look!” Rowen snagged my attention as she ran up to Jess’s side with a horseshoe in her hand.
“Nice.” He smiled and started fawning over her discovery. A familiar pang of jealousy hit my gut. I was happy for my friend and fatherhood agreed with him, but I wasn’t getting any younger. I was starting to worry that I’d never have the chance to build my own family.
I wanted kids, a life centered on family. And I wanted it all with Felicity. I wanted our children to grow up close to their cousins and our friends’ kids. I wanted to see them running around playing at a summer barbeque. To have sledding parties at the ranch in the winter. To have big holidays full of laughter and love.
But none of that was going to happen if I’d royally fucked us up this afternoon and driven her away.
I had completely fucking overreacted.
“Snap out of it, dipshit, it’s your deal,” Paxon said.
I chuckled. Yeah, I was a dipshit all right.
What was I even doing here? I should be at Felicity’s house, on my knees, begging for her forgiveness. Promising that I’d never throw the past in her face again.
I set down my beer and stood. “I’ve got to go.”
Ignoring their demands for my money, I jogged inside and through the house. Leaping down the porch steps, I was about to hop in my truck when I saw her car in its normal spot.
She came back?
“Thank fuck,” I muttered, running past the barn and into my loft. “Felicity, I’m sor—” My feet ground to a stop when I hit the end of the hallway. “What’s going on?”
Standing by the couch, she blushed and tucked her hands in her jeans pocket. “Will you come sit down?”
I gave her a sideways glance, then walked to the couch. It wasn’t in its normal spot but pushed too close to the TV. The coffee table was now by the kitchen and my armchair was by the stairs. She’d rearranged my entire living area to make room for my mattress, which was now on the floor instead of on its platform upstairs.
As soon as I sat down, Felicity came to me and straddled my thighs. My hands immediately went to her hips as she settled on my lap.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
My shoulders sagged in relief that she wasn’t mad. “It’s my fault, not yours. I shouldn’t have gotten so pissed.”
“Regardless, I shouldn’t have left. Sometimes we might need space, but Silas, I promise I’ll never leave you again.”
I pushed out a breath that I’d been holding in for years. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d needed to hear that promise.
She leaned back, and I pushed the hair out of her face. “Is my punishment for being an ass that I have to sleep upstairs without a mattress?”
She laughed and I closed my eyes, blocking out everything else except that musical sound. When her hands framed my face, I opened them back up. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkled in the dim light.
“I wish we could go back in time,” she said. “That we would have spent these last sixteen years together, not apart, but since that isn’t possible, I thought maybe we could recreate our first night. This time, have it end a little differently.”
She dropped her hands as I glanced around. Then it clicked. How could I have not noticed when I came in? Our first night together had been one of the best in my life.
