Page 33 of The Lucky Heart (Jamison Valley 3)
I didn’t regret having sex with Silas, but I should have waited. It wasn’t fair of me to do that to Wes or to Silas.
“This is my fault, Wes. Not his.”
“Lis—” Silas started.
“It was wrong.” When I cut him off, his whole body winced.
I opened my mouth to explain but Wes spoke up first.
“I’ll never forgive you for this. Either of you.” He turned and walked down the hallway but before he opened the door, he swung back around. The glare aimed at me was full of hatred. “No matter what I said to you last night, I didn’t deserve this. You were the only one, Lissy. I loved you.”
Tears flooded my eyes, but before I could apologize, he slammed the door behind him.
Four years. Wes had been mine for four years. He’d been my first everything, and I had just tainted all of our wonderful memories with betrayal.
Silas’s chest pressed against my back as he held me while I cried.
“Will you take me home?” I asked when I’d run out of tears.
“Yeah.” He let me go and I hurried to get dressed.
The drive back to town wasn’t slow and steady. It was rushed and angry.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean that we were wrong. I just mean that we should have waited and—”
“It’s okay. I get it.” His jaw was clenched tight and his fingers were white-knuckled on the steering wheel.
“Do you? Because you’re driving like a mad man. Silas, I don’t regret last night. I just wish I had ended it with Wes first.”
His frame instantly relaxed and he eased off the gas. “You’re probably right.” He grabbed a hand from my lap, bringing it to his lips for a kiss.
“Now what?”
“Whatever you want.”
I knew what I had wanted last night. But now? Things were harder to make sense of. The magic of last night had been tainted.
“He’ll never let us be,” I said. “You know how he is.”
Wes was fiercely stubborn, and when hurt, he had a mean streak. The only time it had ever been aimed at me was when he’d been high. But now that he considered Silas and me his enemies, he’d be vicious.
“He’ll get over it eventually,” Silas said.
“What about the army?”
“I haven’t enlisted. I could stay.”
“I don’t want you to give that up for me. You should enlist. And I want to get out of Prescott too. Maybe live in a city for a while.”
He let go of my hand and combed it through his hair. “What are you saying, Lis?”
“I just don’t want you to regret staying here because of me.”
“I wouldn’t regret it. If you want to go away to school, live in a city, then I’ll wait. Or go with you. I don’t know. Do we really have to figure that all out right now?”
“No.” Yes.
I was graduating in a week. I wanted to start living my own life. Had I just jumped from one serious relationship to another? Was I becoming one of those pathetic girls, completely dependent on the boy in my life?
