Page 20 of The Lucky Heart (Jamison Valley 3)
The promises Wes had made me that night had all been shattered. He’d gotten addicted to the high and had never stopped using. For months, he’d managed to hide it from me and his family, but then it had started to dominate his life and he hadn’t been able to keep it a secret any longer. By the time I had graduated from high school that spring, he’d become a different person.
Wes’s drug addiction had been my fault. If I had never suggested doing something wild, he never would have started using. He never would have been cooking and selling meth. He never would have been stabbed by a rival drug dealer.
He never would have died.
This would have been his house. He would have been working the farm. Jack and Annie would have grandkids by now and be traveling the world like they’d always dreamed for their retirement. Instead, their dreams had been shattered too.
A cry escaped my mouth and I slapped a hand over my lips to contain the ones that followed.
“Oh, Lissy.” Jack rushed to my side. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. “It’s okay. Let it out.”
His comfort just made the cries come faster. I didn’t deserve his pity. He had lost his son because of me and I had been a coward for years, never fessing up. He deserved to know that I was the one to blame and that he couldn’t pin it all on Wes.
“I’m so sorry, Jack.”
“Let’s not go there. Not tonight. We’ll get to that one day. Or maybe we won’t. It doesn’t matter now.”
“But it does. I—”
“Hush now.” I leaned back and looked into his eyes. They were brimming with tears. “I’ve made peace with it all, Lissy. Someday, you will too. For now, let’s just remember how much we loved Wes and leave the rest as history. But you keep that picture, okay?”
I nodded and leaned in for another hug with the frame sandwiched between us. Jack wasn’t ready to hear about the past, and if I was honest with myself, I wasn’t ready for the truth to come out. Not yet.
It would, soon enough.
“He loved you so much.”
Jack’s words only made the pain in my chest burn hotter.
“I loved him too,” I whispered. Just not enough. If I had truly loved Wes, I never would have broken his heart.
“Last box done!” I flopped back onto my bed and smiled at the ceiling. “I live here.”
The feeling of being completely unpacked was like none other. I had been diligently unpacking every night this week and was now savoring my job well done. All I had left to do was to put out my framed pictures, but I wasn’t quite ready for those yet. First, I wanted to get some more recent photos of my family.
The house I’d rented was in a nice, established neighborhood about six blocks from Main Street. I’d chosen this house because it was within walking distance to the café and downtown. It was small but still twice the size my Seattle apartment had been.
The main floor had a square kitchen, small breakfast nook and living room. Upstairs was my master suite plus a guest bedroom and bathroom. The small alcove at the top of the stairs was now my office area.
The ringing doorbell had me pushing off my bed and scurrying downstairs.
“Hey,” I greeted Jess and Gigi. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Hi!” Gigi leaned in for a hug. “We came to see if you wanted to have drinks with us tonight.” She came in and started inspecting my house. Jess bent to kiss my cheek and followed his wife inside.
“Um, I’m not really dressed for drinks.” I was wearing a pair of ratty jeans and a plain black T-shirt. My hair was up in a ponytail because I hadn’t washed it today and my makeup had long ago been rubbed away.
“You look fine for the bars around here,” Jess said.
“Please come with us,” Gigi said. “We rarely get a sitter and it’ll be months before we can all hang out without the kids again.”
“How do you say no to that face?” I asked my brother. Gigi was giving me sad eyes and a small pout.
“It’s not easy.” He pulled her into his side for a steamy kiss.
“Fine. I’ll go.” It wasn’t like I couldn’t binge-watch Gossip Girl reruns tomorrow. “Give me five to freshen up. When you two get done kissing, feel free to take the self-guided tour.”
I rushed upstairs and swiped on some mascara, eye shadow and red lipstick. Then I cuffed my jeans and pulled on some six-inch heels and my black leather motorcycle jacket. It wasn’t my usual stylish “out for drinks” attire but it would do in a pinch.
