Page 42 of The Clover Chapel (Jamison Valley 2)
I had been so consumed with getting an explanation from Nick, I hadn’t taken enough action for Logan. When I found myself living in the same town as my lost husband, I should have immediately gotten my ass back to New York, explained everything to Logan and then personally picked up my divorce papers. Instead, I had spent a week going out on dates with Nick and then made out with him, plastered against a wall in his house.
I was not a good girlfriend.
Just as I was opening my mouth to apologize, a familiar voice rumbled from behind me.
“Not happening, pal. She’s mine.”
“This is not happening,” I muttered and turned around to face Nick. “Stay out of this, Nick.”
“No,” he said.
“The husband, I presume?” Logan stepped into the space beside me and threw his arm around my shoulders, his whole frame rigid.
“Yeah. And since I’m her husband, how about you get your fucking hands off her?”
“I’ll touch her whenever I please. I have for the last five years.”
“Enough!” I said, ending this ridiculous macho man show before it got carried away. “The only person that gets to decide who touches me and when, is me. Stop acting like Neanderthals.”
“Time to go, Emmeline,” Logan declared and grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him as we marched back to the Jeep.
The sound of boots thudded on the pavement behind us. I slipped my hand free from Logan and spun around, again facing Nick.
I was desperate for him to leave me be. The last thing I wanted was for Nick to mention that we had kissed. That was my story to tell Logan, on my terms, but Nick’s eyes were determined. He was going to do whatever it took to keep me apart from Logan.
“Stop,” I whispered. “Let me go.”
“Never.” His face gentled and he looked down at me with his own desperation. “Emmy, don’t do this. Don’t stay with him just because you’re still holding onto the idea that life will go back to how it was. Everything has changed. Be honest with yourself, and with him. We’re it for each other. You walked back into my life and I won’t leave you again. And deep down, you don’t want me to let you go.”
“Emmeline,” Logan called.
I choked down the lump in my throat and blinked away my tears. “Coming.”
The drive home was silent, but the moment I parked in the driveway, Logan reached for my hand.
“You love him.” He wasn’t angry and yelling. He sounded defeated and sad.
I shook my head. “No. But I did once.”
“It’s still there, sweetheart,” Logan said, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.
I wanted to protest but I couldn’t. I was too confused about my feelings for Nick. In one night, I had fallen in love with him. I thought that years of anger and hatred had erased all of that love. But spending time with him, kissing him, had brought it all back. Only, the hatred was still there too. How could I get rid of one without the other?
“When you walked away from him, I’ve never seen pain like that on your face before. Not even when your father was at his worst. I want to be the man to take it from you, Emmeline, to carry that pain so you can live a life of happiness. But it’s never going to be me.”
“What? What are you saying, Logan?” I asked.
“I never even stood a chance. Nothing I can ever do will be enough. He’ll always have that piece of you.”
I shook my head. “You’re reading too much into this. He just upset me. And you and I had been arguing. There was a lot of emotion flying around. Let’s just forget it and have a nice Thanksgiving together. Please?”
“He calls you Emmy.”
“He always has. What does that matter?”
“When we first met, I called you Emmy once. You corrected me and said you hated that nickname. But that wasn’t true. You didn’t want me to call you Emmy because it was already his.”
He was right. There were things I wouldn’t give him because Nick had been there first. I’d convinced myself I hated nicknames and kisses on the tip of my nose. I didn’t, really, but I’d told myself I did. Because it hurt too much to be reminded of Nick.
