Page 116 of The Clover Chapel (Jamison Valley 2)
“We’ll never get past it,” Nick said. “You don’t forgive me.”
“I do forgive you and I’m not blaming you or holding Vegas against you. What I’m saying is that I don’t want to look back at our married life together and have a gap. I want a real first anniversary. Not one ten years later.” Tears were now streaming down my face. Nick’s eyes were filled with anguish and pain. “I’m not doing this to hurt you. I’m doing this so we can have a real chance.”
“The night I found you,” he said, “the night we got married, was the best night of my life. I locked every moment in my heart so I’d never forget a single one. Now you’re taking them away from me.”
He was right. I was taking Vegas away. But I was taking the nine years away too. We couldn’t have one without the other.
“I don’t want you to leave me, Emmy.”
“I’m not,” I said. “I told you I wouldn’t. That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Then why does it feel like I just lost you?”
Wow, that hurt.
I sucked in a ragged breath and thought about what I was asking. Was it worth the pain?
No, it wasn’t. If this idea of mine was going to drive us apart, I wasn’t going through with it. I didn’t need a divorce to be happy. I just needed Nick.
But before I could tell him any of that, the front door flew open.
In stormed Dash, followed by another Tin Gypsy I hadn’t met. Dash walked right into Nick’s space and stood nose to nose with his brother. “You’re fucking helping us.”
“Get out of my face,” Nick growled.
Dash stepped back a foot and pulled at his hair with both hands. His friend had an equally frazzled look.
Nick and I had been so consumed with our own drama, neither of us had heard the motorcycles outside approach.
“You ever barge into my house like that again, I’ll put you on your ass, Brother. What are you doing here?”
“Shit went down last night. Warriors attacked. A few of us were drinking at a bar, watching the playoffs. They grabbed Stone and took him outside. Before any of us even knew what the fuck was happening, they shot him. Fucking execution style, man. Just like Mom.”
I gasped and slapped a hand to my mouth to keep from screaming.
“Fuck,” Nick hissed. His hands fisted at his sides and his entire body tensed. “Fuck!” he roared. The noise was so loud and gut-wrenching I flinched.
“Let’s go,” Nick ordered Dash.
“Nick, no,” I gasped. “Don’t do this.” He wouldn’t forgive himself if he crossed that line. Enemy or not, this would torture him.
“I’m going,” he said, following Dash and the other man to the door without looking back.
“You promised you wouldn’t leave if we were fighting. And you promised you wouldn’t help them,” I told his back.
He paused and turned his chin to his shoulder. “I promised my wife. You’re just my girlfriend.”
To say that the last four days of my life had been miserable would be a titanic understatement.
After I’d watched Nick speed away on his motorcycle, side by side with his brother, I had lost it. Crumbling to the floor, I’d had a complete breakdown.
A part of me had thought Nick would come back when he got some space. After he had cleared his head and put a few miles betwe
en us. Maybe when he had realized that he’d just left me again.
But hours later, I had still been alone and crying at his house. So I’d picked myself up and gone home. For the rest of the week, I had gone through the motions.
I hadn’t heard a word from him since our fight. My calls to his phone had gone directly to voicemail and all my texts had gone unreturned. I didn’t know where he was or if he was being safe. His absence left me constantly nauseous.
