Page 27 of The Clover Chapel (Jamison Valley 2)
Our relationship was deteriorating. Or maybe I was now realizing that it already had. We weren’t a priority in each other’s lives, not like we used to be. And, aside from moving home, I didn’t have a clue what to do about it. The thought of losing him was depressing but living in the city w
asn’t an option.
Chocolate. And more wine. That’s what I needed. I walked into the kitchen and found Nick cutting the scotcheroos.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Great!” I lied. He didn’t buy it and strode right into my space, placing his hands on the sides of my face.
“No lies, Emmy.” He leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose. The second his lips connected with my skin, all the muscles in my body tensed.
That touch was painfully familiar. I remembered every one of Nick’s caresses and kisses from Las Vegas. Back then they had meant the world to me, but now they hurt my heart.
No matter how much I hated it, I was still drawn to him. Our connection was magnetic. The stronger I pushed it away, the harder it pulled back. We needed more distance if I was going to come out of these five dates in one piece.
“Please. Don’t do that,” I begged.
His forehead rested against mine for a brief moment before the heat from his body was gone and my face was freed from his grasp. Taking a large scotcheroo from the pan, he said, “See you tomorrow.”
I stood on the porch and watched the taillights of his massive red truck disappear into the trees.
Another date done and I was still without answers. It had been a mistake not to press and wait for tomorrow, because tonight I’d felt a shift.
Maybe I didn’t want an explanation. Whatever Nick had to tell me might make me hate him all over again.
And deep down, I dreaded that thought.
“Three dates down. What does he have planned for the next?” Steffie asked.
“I’m not sure. He just said, ‘See you tomorrow,’ before he left.”
“You can make it. Stick it out through these last two dates. When you know more, you can start making decisions.”
I’d called Steffie for advice not long after Nick had left. Other than Nick and myself, Steffie was the only person that knew every sordid detail about Las Vegas. I had been so broken that she’d had to practically carry me through the airport the morning he’d left.
“You’re right. I can endure two more evenings with Nick.” I can endure. I had been enduring for a long time.
“Do you ever wonder?” she asked.
“Wonder what?”
“Wonder what if? What would have happened if he hadn’t left you in Vegas?”
“No.” My answer was definite and true. I had always guarded against picturing what our nine years could have been.
“Don’t start now,” she warned.
Damn it, Steffie. Her words had the exact opposite effect.
In a flash, unwanted images assailed my mind.
I saw Nick at my graduation from Yale, standing in the crowd next to my family, clapping loudly and whistling as I walked across the stage and received my diploma.
I pictured him dropping me off at the small college in town every morning where I was getting my teaching degree.
And I saw a beautiful little boy chasing a German Shepherd puppy. His dark hair was the exact color of Nick’s but he had my gray eyes. The boy’s little sister played on the grass, her auburn hair curled at the ends, just like her daddy’s.
The clarity of the images made them almost real.
