Page 26 of Sinful Empire (Mount Trilogy 3)
Finally, I’m starting to understand who he is at the most basic level. Lachlan Mount will never be a storybook hero, but I guarantee Rubio would call him a savior. I’m sure there are plenty of others who would as well.
Lachlan Mount lives by his own code, completely unapologetic about his actions, but that doesn’t mean he lacks honorable motives.
“You deal out justice as you see fit, but I don’t think you ever hurt an innocent intentionally.”
“Don’t lie to yourself and pretend that me saving a couple of kids offsets everything else I’ve done. You couldn’t find a soul blacker than mine if you dug into the depths of hell.”
He truly believes his own words. I see it on his face, but I think he’s wrong.
“You want me to say I’m repulsed by you? Then look me in the eye and tell me that you would sacrifice me to save yourself.”
Lachlan’s dark gaze goes wide before he reins in his shock. “What the fuck are you trying to prove?”
“Tell me.” My demand is as rigid as the man beside me. “Make me believe it.”
His face twists into a mask of disgust. “No fucking way.”
The triumphant smile that tugs at my lips is probably as twisted as the feelings coiling through me, but I don’t care.
“You’d die for me. You’ve already shown me that. You’d walk into a hail of bullets to save me from one. You wouldn’t let the doctors touch you until they finished with me, even though you needed them far more than I did. If you want me to believe that you’re a monster, then you’re going to have to do a hell of a lot better, because all I see is a man worthy to stand at my side.”
Shock flashes across his face. “I fucking terrorized you. Don’t make this out to be a goddamned fairy tale, Keira. That’s sure as hell not what it is.”
He looks away, and this time, I reach out and mimic one of his favorite moves. I cup his stubble-roughened cheek in my palm and turn his head back to face me.
“I don’t want a fairy tale. I thought I had that once before, and look how it ended. I want real, and you’re the most real person I’ve ever met in my life. You don’t hold back a single one of your sins. What you do hold back is the motivations behind them, and those motivations make all the difference in the world.” I pause, watching as a flicker of disbelief creases his brow, and then . . . hope, maybe?
He doesn’t realize yet that he doesn’t need hope. He already has me.
“You didn’t terrorize me. I might’ve been a little terrified of you, but I wanted you just as badly, if not more. Magnolia was right about a few things, including the fact that you’d fuck with my head and make it go to war with my body. But she was wrong about what matters most. She told me I couldn’t afford to let you get to my heart. The truth is, I can’t afford not to, because it would be my biggest regret. It’s already yours whether you want it or not.”
Lachlan’s eyes close for a single beat. When they open again, it’s like I’m staring at a different man. “Thank Christ, because I have no fucking clue how I could force myself to let you go.”
“I wouldn’t let you.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
He believes what he says. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to change his mind, but I’m going to do everything I can to show him he’s wrong.
I lean in closer to him. “Luckily, that’s not up to you. It’s up to me, and I’ve already made my decision.”
His arms slide around me. Carefully, mindful of our injuries, he guides me back into bed beside him and holds me against his battle-scarred body. My cheek to his chest. His chin resting on the top of my head.
Lachlan Mount may think he’s a cold-blooded monster, but I hear and feel the steady rhythm of his heart beating against my ear as I drift off into sleep.
Mount
As Keira’s breathing slows to an even pace, her words play on repeat in my head. For all the sins I’ve committed, I don’t deserve this woman, but I’m not giving her up. I’m not that honorable, even though she seems to see something in me I don’t. Hell, after the story I told her, there’s no way she should be sleeping peacefully in my arms. But here she is. Maybe, just maybe, there’s some truth to what she believes.
The lives I’ve taken are many. And before mine ends, I know I’ll take even more.
But something she said resonates with me.
“You’re the most real person I’ve ever met in my life. You don’t hold back a single one of your sins. What you do hold back is the motivations behind your actions, and those motivations make all the difference in the world.”
I’m not going to lie and say that all my actions have noble motives, but most of them have reasons that I consider completely justifiable, not that I’ve ever felt the need to justify them to anyone, including myself. Remorse isn’t something I feel. Some people need killing, and I have no problem being the man for the job.
For Keira, I should wish I’ve been a better man, but I can’t put any power behind that thought. If I were anyone other than exactly who I am, I wouldn’t be holding her in my arms right now.
