Page 42 of Defiant Queen (Mount Trilogy 2)
What is happening to my life?
This arrangement is supposed to end, and things are supposed to go back to how they were before I knew Mount existed. In the beginning, when I demanded an end date, he wouldn’t give me one.
I bite my lip as tears burn behind my eyes.
What if he never lets me go?
I swipe at my lids as I comprehend what that would mean.
A complete loss of my independence.
Never again being able to be honest with my family.
The death of all my dreams.
How long until I lose the very essence of what makes me me?
I thought I could handle him, thought I was strong enough to keep it all together. But I’ve never been more wrong in my life, and it’s going to cost me everything.
I drop my forehead to my knees and let the tears stream down. If I were a decent human being, tonight I’d be mourning the actual death of my husband.
Instead, I’m mourning the loss of my own life.
Mount
When I tell Keira my plans for the evening have changed because I have business to attend to and send her home with V, I’m only partially lying.
Confusion lines her features, but it doesn’t matter. I have to get away from her. J’s words still echo through my head, and I know that what happened tonight shifted things even further in the opposite direction from where they should be going.
Compartmentalization? Fuck, I’ll be lucky if I can ever look at any desk without getting an instant hard-on from picturing Keira bent over it.
Despite the lie I told her, too much truth was spoken in her office tonight. She loves what I give her and is on the verge of admitting it, even though she doesn’t have to. I see it in her every reaction. Her body responds to me like nothing I’ve ever seen. She was made for me—I knew it the night of the masquerade. That’s why I had to have her again, only to be denied for too long.
Work. That’s what I need.
Even though the casino isn’t nearly as busy as it will be later tonight, I walk the floor, stopping to watch dealers flip cards across the green felt of table after table, and observe the spinning roulette wheel as the ball clatters across the black, red, and green numbers. At the craps table, a call girl blows on the dice for a player before he throws them, and groans when he loses everything.
I shake a few people’s hands and watch their mouths moving, but don’t hear their words. I’m too distracted. The lights and sounds of the casino used to fascinate me, but they’re not enough to keep my mind off her.
In less than ten minutes, I could be in my bedroom, preferably with Keira pinned beneath me, her red hair spread across my pillow again. Except this time, her green eyes would be snapping at me in rebellion until I buried myself inside her. Then they’d go soft, wanting, needing, begging for what only I can give her.
As my dick jerks at the vision, I shove the thought away. Because that’s not what I’m going to do. I’m getting out of here.
I duck into the security control room, remind them to keep an eye on a few specific guests, and leave through a sliding panel in the wall.
I take the long way around, headed for a garage on the north side of my complex. Tonight, I need a drive to clear my head, and nothing does a better job of that than my Chevelle.
As I navigate the maze of secret hallways to get there, I spot a familiar figure heading toward his own rooms.
“G?”
The old man’s head comes up and he pauses. “Sir? Do you require my services?”
“No. How did it go tonight?”
“I was able to finish steaming almost everything, but Ms. Kilgore returned sooner than anticipated, so I still have to finish the job. It’ll be done tomorrow, however.” He pauses before adding, “She seemed quite shocked when she saw the closet. Even more than shocked. Upset, really.”
G is one of the very few people I trust, so I ask, “How upset?”
