With an infectious grin, the woman reached into the bag. “Now I put your extra drink tickets in your bags. The leg warmers are encouraged but of course optional. The glitter hair spray is a must though.” She giggled, spraying it up into the air.
It might as well have been a bomb for the way I all but dove out of the way to avoid it.
Remi laughed, taking the hair spray from the hostess. “I’m not sure he’s a glitter kind of guy. But I’ll see what I can do with the leg warmers when we get inside.” Taking both bags off the table, she grabbed my hand and hauled me through the double doors to safety.
“Jesus fucking Christ. How were our parents ever horny in the eighties with shit like this?”
“Who says they were?”
“Well, we’re both here, aren’t we? Something horny happened at least twice.”
“Don’t look at me, old man. Maybe the nineties were better for my parents? But hey, I heard they have fun signature drinks. Want to get a DuranDuran-o-Rita or are you more of a Captain, Coke, and Tennille kind of guy?”
There was no way out, but when you can’t beat ’em, make stupid puns with ’em. I sang, “Rum. Rum will keep us together. But as an admiral in the Canadian Navy, I must bring it to light. The Captain and his Tennille were from the seventies, not this blasphemous point in time.”
“They’re real estate agents, Harley. Don’t make me call the party pooper police on you.”
“By the looks of it, someone needs to call an ambulance—nay, a WHAM-bulance—to resuscitate this pitiful celebration.” The place was empty. And when I said empty, I meant me, Remi, a bartender at a sad portable bar, and a DJ with nothing more than some lights and a laptop playing Huey Lewis and the News.
“Act right or I won’t poison you later.”
“Oh, baby, I bet there will be plenty of Poison here at this radical rager tonight,” I teased as we made our way to a table covered in glow-in-the-dark bracelets and necklaces.
Remi set the bags down and started piling them on her wrists while I politely declined. She shrugged. “Please never say radical rager again. Plus, I prefer to look at this as a glass-half-full situation. Think of all the obnoxious people we are avoiding rather than the ones we might not have missed.”
I clucked. “Beauty and brains. What a double threat.”
“I’m a triple threat and there’s no line at the bar. If you have a twenty to slip the DJ to play ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ early, we can be out of here and back in your room in thirty minutes flat.”
“Solid plan, but if you think I’m leaving before he plays ‘True’ by Spandau Ballet, you are sorely mistaken.”
She laughed and pulled me in for a hug, burying her face in my chest. I’d sworn I wasn’t going to harp on it being our last night together, but I was starting to worry about how I’d ever chase the chill away once I lost her warmth.
Resting her chin on my chest, she peered up at me. “I’ll get the drinks, you show some cleavage to the DJ.”
“I’m not quite sure that’s the right order of operations, but I’ll do my best.”
After a quick peck on the lips, she released me and started to walk away. She only made it a few steps before doing a U-turn. “Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Remi barked, marching back. She plucked her name tag off my jacket a-fucking-gain as if even the damn Hello my name is sticker was trying to tell us something.
Or maybe it was just my old friend fate back for a not-so-subtle reminder.
“Hey!” she objected when I snatched the name tag from between her fingers.
Digging into my back pocket, I retrieved my wallet. With the flick of my wrist, I flipped it open and then used one finger to scoop into the inside pocket. “Look, I’m going against our deal and breaking character for a minute. I know we’ve spent the last few days avoiding hard conversations and pretending to be anyone other than who we are. And please don’t get me wrong. I have loved every single second of being with you, but I can’t let you leave tomorrow still questioning who you are.”
Her eyes got wide, and her face softened as I lifted the safety pin in the air.
“People change,” I told her. “For the better and the worse. We evolve and adjust. Learn and grow. It’s a never-ending process through the entirety of life. But the core of who we are is always the same. And you, my beautiful, funny, brilliant, clumsy, sexy woman, will always be Remi Grey.” I pressed the Remi Grey name tag on her chest again and then carefully secured it with the safety pin. “Don’t get so caught up in the search that you lose sight of the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
