It had been four months since I’d moved away, leaving my entire life in Atlanta. At least once a week, I tried to convince myself that he and I could be friends who texted and checked up on each other. Then I’d remind myself why I was so far away and what I hoped to gain from the separation from everyone I knew and loved.
I needed a fresh start. I deserved to discover who I truly was—and who I wanted to be. I was nearing thirty, and while I’d only lost eleven months of memories, I’d spent the eight after it being lied to and manipulated. I wasn’t usually a numbers girl, but I didn’t know the truth about anything for five percent of my life. Five percent!
After nearly losing everything again, I’d decided that it was time for me to take care of myself first. Live each day to the fullest without commentary or influence from others. Because if anything was true, it was that I wasn’t a tabby cat who was promised any more lives.
I’d vowed to take back control of my life—past, present, and future. Everyone had a motive when it came to who I was. Some good. Some horrifying. After surviving the avalanche of betrayal from those I loved most, I couldn’t count on anyone else.
So, even as memories of that gorgeous man with golden-brown eyes punched me in the gut. Or when I craved Bowen’s touch, his presence, his warmth. It was then when I had to dust myself off, put one foot in front of the other, and stay true to myself. Agonizing as it might have been.
Aaron and I had managed to do pretty well, and he was as culpable as the others who’d withheld my history from me under the guise of protection. He and I were mending fences and connecting on my terms, which was not only healthy, but it had really seemed to work. We’d been talking about maybe him coming down to Savannah for a long weekend soon.
It was different with Bowen though. As much as I longed for him, I wasn’t strong enough for the temptation of something as small as the timbre of his voice when he answered the phone. Knowing he was only four hours away, with open arms and an unlocked door, waiting on me to change my mind was too much pressure to put on my fragile new life at that moment in time.
But God, did I want to change my mind sometimes.
I carried a bag of apples to the fruit bowl beside Jenna and inspected each one before placing them inside. “No. Aren’t we a little past seduction?” I posed with my shoulder popped and a faux pout plastered across my face. “You showed me more than enough when you busted your ass in that black skirt on the River Street cobblestones the other night.”
She laughed. “You and half of the city. Not my finest hour.”
“I don’t know. The bachelor party you flashed might disagree.”
She shook her head and lifted Sugar nose to nose, speaking in a baby voice as she told him, “I keep telling your mama I can’t handle the slushies from Wet Willie’s, and yet, every time we go out, that seems to be our first stop.”
I grinned and continued unloading my market haul. Those slushies were freaking delicious. Dangerous but completely worth it.
Jenna and I hadn’t known each other long. I’d only lived in our four-unit building in Savannah’s historic district for two weeks before she moved into the apartment next door. But, being that the tenants on the ground level were cranky, elderly, and they called to complain anytime I walked around on the hardwood floors in shoes one minute after six thirty in the evening, I’d dubbed myself the informal second-floor welcoming committee. First chance I got, I took her a bottle of wine and a plate of brownies.
This turned into me helping her unload a U-Haul. Then we stayed up until midnight, drinking that bottle plus another I’d had in my fridge and playing fetch with Sugar in the hallway.
At twenty-three, she was younger than I was, still firmly planted in her party days while working nights at a nearby restaurant. On paper we had little in common, but she was new to the city by way of South Carolina and needed a friend almost as badly as I did. Surprisingly, even with as different as we were, our new friendship worked. She’d force me out of my apartment to explore the city, and I’d force her back home before three a.m. Okay, fine. It was usually closer to midnight, but she rarely complained.
Jenna was the little sister I’d never had, and God, did I need some family.
In the span of a few months, I’d gone from having my dad minutes away, living with two men who had been my world for over a decade, and having a boyfriend I’d adored and spent every waking minute with to being utterly alone.
