What a fucking joke.
Turning on a toe, I marched back down the hall.
“Remi!” He slammed his hands against the glass as I disappeared into my office.
I reemerged holding Quincy the cactus. The gift he’d given me the day he’d shown up slinging bullshit about the mazes of his past.
My throat was raw, but I managed to speak at a decibel he could hear through the door. “You didn’t lie? You stood right here”—I gestured wildly with my free hand—“barely two months ago, looked me straight in the eye, and told me you’d lost your fiancée. But you didn’t lie?” I hurled the cactus as hard as I could across my lobby, not giving a shit if it shattered the door right off the hinges. Just my luck, it crashed into the wall instead. “You didn’t lose anybody!” I roared. “I’m Sally!” I jabbed my finger into my heart, punctuating each word. “I’m alive! Standing right fucking here! Alone. Utterly and completely alone.” My chest heaved as I fought back another round of tears threatening to spill over. “You didn’t lose anyone. I am the one who lost everyone.”
“No, you haven’t,” he implored, more desperate than I’d ever heard him. “I’m here. I’ve always been here. Everything I told you about Sally—”
“Sally. Doesn’t. Fucking. Exist!”
He slammed his hand against his heaving chest. “She does to me! She was my entire life. And then one day, I didn’t exist to her.” His wild eyes locked with mine as he pressed his scarred wrist against the glass. “We share these scars because whether you remember it or not, we traveled through hell. Together. The only difference between us is that you got out. Please, just open the door and give me the chance to explain.”
I tore my eyes from his and looked down at my wrist. The heartbreaking stories about his life with Sally crashed over me with the weight of an avalanche, and my mind tumbled over the cliff.
She’d been kidnapped.
She’d tried to take her life three times.
He’d saved her. Each and every time.
My stomach bottomed out as I inspected my marred flesh. It wasn’t Sally’s life he’d been tortured over. It was mine.
I’d been kidnapped.
I’d tried to take my life three times.
He’d saved me. Each and every time.
The lump in my throat grew with each revelation, and I forced myself to swallow. He’d lied so much I had no idea if any of it was true, but with even the possibility of it being real, I needed answers more than ever.
Careful to avoid poor Quincy and his broken pot, I unlocked the door. I was barely out of the way before he rushed in and wrapped me in his arms.
I needed a hug.
I needed something—anything—to feel safe again.
But affection from Bowen had never felt more wrong.
“Get off me,” I seethed, pushing out of his hold. “I didn’t open the door for your sake. Start talking. And I swear to God, Bowen, tread carefully.” I took a step back, needing distance. “This is the only shot you get. One lie and this will be the last time you ever see me.”
He nodded and stabbed his hand into the top of his hair. “It’s the only shot I’ll need.”
“Then talk,” I demanded.
For a moment, he seemed nervous, swaying from one foot to the other, his gaze dipping to the floor, unable to meet mine. It was so unlike Bowen that it softened me for a beat. But before I could let even the tiniest bit of compassion in, I caught myself.
Did I actually know the man who stood before me at all anymore?
And if I did, could I even love someone who lied to me as easily as he took a breath?
His eyes finally came back to mine, and I fought myself not to get lost in the pain swimming in them. “Everything I told you about Sally is the God’s honest truth. We’d only been together three weeks when she went missing.”
“Me,” I corrected, stabbing a finger at my chest. “You mean me.”
He shook his head adamantly. “No. I mean Sally. You are not that woman anymore, Remi. And that’s exactly why we are standing here now. Because I did the only thing I could think of to make sure you were never that woman again.”
“By fucking with my head and altering my memories? Gee, thanks for that.”
“No,” he bit out quickly, his voice sharp. “By not giving them back to you.” He took a giant step toward me, and I backed away just as fast. Clearly not fond of yet another retreat, he clenched his jaw, but then he stilled. “After you were kidnapped, you weren’t you anymore. It was like whoever had taken you had snuffed out the light inside you. Every single day was a struggle, but who could blame you? You’d been through so fucking much. I tried—hell, we all tried—so hard to keep you in the light. But eventually, it got to the point that I couldn’t even find you in the darkness anymore. And every time I tried, I lost another piece of myself in the search. I can’t adequately explain how bad things had gotten, but I was floundering. We were on that plane because you’d decided to check out of a treatment facility early. My last hope of getting you back, and you wouldn’t even try.”
