Clearing my throat, I walked past them to the door, which was still wide open. “Good. Now that it’s settled, you have to get the fuck out of here. Remi should be here soon, and I need to start dinner. Heads up, it’s safe to assume she won’t be home tonight—or any night in the foreseeable future.” I was finished putting other people’s feelings ahead of my own when it came to the woman I loved—the only woman I’d ever loved. If that came across as curt or selfish, I didn’t care.
“Are you gonna ask her to move in?” Aaron asked cautiously.
I filled my lungs with oxygen, waiting for them to burn before exhaling. Moving in was where it had all started falling off the tracks before. If anything was going to trigger her memories, it would be that. But despite our relationship moving at lightning speed, we weren’t there yet. Not this time.
“Eventually. I’ll let you know before I do.”
He nodded with gratitude.
Mark’s jaw ticked at the hinges, but when he spoke, his anger had morphed into concern. “And what if you fuck this up? Where does that leave her?”
Now that I could respect.
Honestly, the idea of failing her again haunted me on a minute-to-minute basis. But what were my choices? When she hadn’t been a part of my life, I’d believed wholeheartedly that I was doing the right thing by staying away from her. Allowing her an opportunity for the fresh start she’d so desperately needed—and deserved.
But then she’d come back to me, more hell-bent than ever. And that made two of us, because the second I’d shown up at her office with the cactus, I’d made a commitment to her all over again whether she knew it or not.
“With me,” I answered, leaving no room for argument. “It leaves her with me. Where she belongs. If everything falls apart again and we end up right back where we were before the crash, I’ll still be here for her every single day. For as long as she’ll have me.”
He let out a string of expletives under his breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is so fucked.”
It always had been. I believed I was the one who had originally pointed it out though. Nobody had listened then, and I wasn’t about to let it get in my way now.
I jerked my chin toward the door. “At least we can agree on that.”
Aaron walked past me, stress carving lines across his forehead. He might have had my back, but he wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about things either. I couldn’t blame him. Lying to a woman you loved wasn’t anyone’s idea of a good time. Necessary as it might have been.
Mark stopped at the door and leveled me with a glare. “This isn’t over.”
I squared my shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes. “You’re right. For me and Remi, it’s just the beginning—again.”
He groaned, shaking his head. But he didn’t insist on standing there until Remi arrived and that alone gave me new confidence that our secret was safe for a while longer.
At least from her.
If I knew Mark at all, his very first stop on the way home would be at Jack Grey’s restaurant.
Closing the door behind them with one hand, I used the other to slide my phone from my back pocket then tapped out a number I’d long since memorized.
“Is everything okay, son?” Jack answered, not even bothering with a hello.
I sighed, not looking forward to the possible pushback I was likely to receive. “I guess it depends on your definition of okay.”
“Shit,” he rumbled, and somewhere in the distance, I heard a door click.
“Is Remi with you?”
“No. I’m moving to the office so I can hear you better. What’s going on, Bowen? My heart stops every time your name shows up on my phone.”
“I’m sorry, and I hate to be doing this over the phone, but Mark and Aaron were just here. It didn’t go so well.”
“What happened?”
I paced the room, hoping to expel even a little of the anxiety coursing through my body. “Long story short, Remi and I are back together. Mark thinks it’s a shit idea, but she came to me, Jack. I won’t fucking walk away from her again.”
There was a long pause. I respected the hell out of Jack, but my relationship with Remi wasn’t up for discussion and I wasn’t looking for anyone’s opinion or blessing. But I wasn’t a coward, either, so I felt it necessary to lay my cards on the table.
When he finally spoke, his voice was raw. “Does she…”
“No. She doesn’t remember anything.”
“Good,” he replied with a relief I knew all too well. “Then what the hell do you mean you’re back together?”
“She came back to me. I didn’t seek her out, and when she did, I tried to shut it down, but you know Remi. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. So I’m being careful and cautious, but she loves me, Jack, and I’m done pretending I don’t love her too. Look, I’m not asking for permission here, but I wanted to tell you myself before Mark or Aaron have the chance to.”
