His fingertips bit into my hips, as confusion contorted his face. “What the hell? You never told me this.”
I slanted my head. “You never asked about my mom. Or anything really.”
He swallowed and a flash of shame illuminated his eyes.
“It’s okay,” I soothed. “I know it’s a defense mechanism for you. I get it. If you don’t ask me any questions, you don’t have to answer any in return. It doesn’t bother me or anything.”
“Fuck, Remi. I didn’t realize I was doing that, but it should bother you. I want to go back to your mom in a minute, but first, I need you to understand. I want to know everything there is to know about you. I want to know about your first kiss. About your childhood celebrity crushes. I want to have firsthand knowledge of all your favorite songs and make sure I dance with you to all of them. It doesn’t stop there. I want to know what makes you happy and sad and makes your skin crawl. There’s not a single aspect of your life that I’m not interested in. And I’m sure as hell sorry if I’ve ever made you feel otherwise.”
I slid my palms up his chest. “Don’t apologize. Like I said, it’s not a big deal.”
“Well, it’s a big deal to me. I love you, Remi. And there is nothing I won’t do to make this work with you. So, from here on out, no walls. No defense mechanisms. Just us.”
I smiled. “Okay, but I want to know all that stuff about you too. It’s just the beginning though. We’ve got time.”
His breath hitched. “You’re Goddamn right we do, but I’m serious. I’m trusting you to call me on my shit. If I’m not giving you something you need, you’ve gotta open that sexy mouth of yours and let me know so I can fix it before it festers. I don’t want to even consider the possibility of losing you, especially not over a communication issue.”
“Okay,” I repeated.
Even if he hadn’t told me he loved me that night, it would have been the exact minute I finally blurted it out to him. I hadn’t been in many relationships, and none as serious as ours, but I was pretty sure things weren’t always easy. There were enough men in my life for me to know they could often be prideful, and pointing out something that could be construed as a flaw often went south—fast. But not with Bowen. He was quick to face a problem head-on. Even if it meant taking on blame that up until that moment he hadn’t realized was his to carry.
For me, that was a whole different league of attractive.
I sighed. God bless that stupid cursed dress and the courthouse steps for bringing such a man into my life. Well, that and the stubborn, never-take-no-for-an-answer attitude I’d inherited from my father.
“I like the sound of that sigh,” he said.
“Good. Because I really enjoy the feel of it.”
“Let’s keep it that way.” He kissed the tip of my nose and then turned me around so his front was facing my back. “So back to your story. Did you get to see your mom that day?”
I heard him squeeze shampoo into his hand and then he began gently lathering my hair. Smiling, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. I loved Bowen’s hands whenever and wherever they touched my body, but there was something so intimate about the act of this strong, gorgeous man washing my hair.
“Yeah. I saw her. She was nice enough. She hugged me and then scolded me for not calling first before stopping by. It was a miracle I even had her address, much less her phone number. But whatever. I’m not going to lie. I loved spending time with her. She was a good mom. Just not to me.”
“Remi,” he breathed. With gentle hands, he turned me again, rinsing my hair under the hot spray. “Did you maintain a relationship with her after that?”
“No. After a few hours, she told me it was getting late and she needed to start dinner. She didn’t ask me to stay. She didn’t ask how long I’d be in town. Or arrange plans for the next day. She just walked me to the door, hugged me, and told me it was great to see me again. When that door closed, my stomach dropped, and it felt like she had abandoned me all over again.”
“Jesus, babe.” He framed my face with both of his hands and brought his mouth down over mine for a deep but all-too-brief kiss. “She doesn’t deserve you—then, now, or in the future. Do you hear me? You are an incredible woman who anyone would be proud to call their daughter. Truth be told, I feel sorry for her. She’s really the one missing out. What a fool.”
