Page 133 of Darling Venom
“What’s the big deal?” She jerked her body away from me, scooting back on the mattress to gain distance. “It’s just a letter from a high school boy.”
“Kellan.”
“What?”
“The boy who gave you the letter. His name was Kellan, and he killed himself. That night.”
I’d never told her.
Never wanted her to feel like I was threatening her ownership on tragedy.
That was my fault, but it was also hers for making me believe I was a regret. That saving me ruined her life. That I couldn’t talk to her about the hardships I faced for fear of overshadowing hers.
Not only did Kellan kill himself after delivering the letter to Leah, but it also could have been the last thing he’d done before he took his own life.
I kept this from her.
She didn’t need to know the pain of trying to save someone and failing. It was painful enough to have succeeded. I saw that every time she looked at me.
Tate’s words from the day I confessed my Big T echoed inside my head.
He was right.
For the first time, I acknowledged the fact that there was a worse possibility than Leah saving me.
“Charlotte…”
Her voice was soft. As if she thought she would shatter me if she raised it just a notch higher.
I think something she saw when she looked at me scared her, because for once, it was her turn to act like she had something to lose between us.
She stood, slowly, as if she were corralling a cornered animal.
“Charlotte,” she repeated.
I didn’t answer.
I turned and walked away.
That red thread of fate connecting us unraveled, freeing me.
Somehow, I only felt more trapped.
If I fall, will I regret it?
The thought occupied precious real estate in my head.
I ended up on the roof for the first time since Kellan’s death, hovering over the ledge, wondering how lonely it felt to fall with no one to catch him.
How scared he must’ve been.
The letter was hidden safely in the pouch of my hoodie. I’d opened it on the cab ride here, read the first line, and slipped it back inside its envelope. Too scared of what I’d find.
Which was a given, considering:
1) it was Kellan we were talking about (the boy was a master at pushing every button of mine), and
2) the first sentence consisted of a threat.
